Transferring Away From Household for Ballet: four Execs Share Their Expertise and Recommendation

A ballet dancer’s life is full of sacrifice and sacrificing family time is no exception. When Maria Kochetkova graduated from the Bolshoi Ballet Academy, she knew that she was considered too small for the company. She would soon have to leave her family and dance abroad.

“It was hard to see that I had no place to dance at home in Moscow just because I was eight centimeters shorter than other dancers,” she recalls. But Kochetkova’s family supported her decision. “Away from home or not, I’ve always been very close to my family. I always say my mom is my biggest fan, ”she says. “I also had to move away to become independent and learn to think independently. You need a thick skin in this career, and you don’t just get that from an easy path. “

Maria Kochetkova, Kiyonori Hasegawa, courtesy of ENB

Of course, many dancers leave their homes much earlier than students. “If a young dancer wants to move away to exercise, the family has to be 150 percent and the student 200 percent on board,” said Sara Mearns, director of the New York City Ballet. Like Kochetkova’s, Mearns’ family was committed to their dance dreams long before she left home. Her mother was involved in ballet from her earliest training. “Dancing was a family decision. I danced, my brother danced and my mom was in the studio all the time. She made costumes and helped with carpooling, ”she explains. “I didn’t feel alone; we all sacrificed. It wasn’t a sad thing. “

Mearns’ goal had always been to dance with NYCB. At the age of 15, she left her home in South Carolina to train at the affiliated School of American Ballet. “My brother was at SAB and also friends I had made from the summer intensive courses and from my dance school at home. I was very lucky, ”she says. Although Mearns felt ready to leave home by the age of 15, she recommends young dancers take small steps, such as attending summer intensive courses in the state, before trying out summer intensive courses outside of the state and year-round training programs. “If you can go on a summer intensive with a few friends, that can help too,” she says.

Sara Mearns in George Balanchine’s “Episodes”. Paul Kolnik, courtesy of NYCB.

At 17, Alana Griffith of the Milwaukee Ballet moved from Los Angeles to England to train at the English National Ballet School. “It was really scary to be honest,” says Griffith. But she wanted to continue her British-style education after training in RAD at her home studio, the Los Angeles Ballet Academy. Living her dream was exciting, but she also had challenging days. Fortunately, she had a support system at home of family and ballet friends and teachers to talk to on the phone. If she could have done something differently in retrospect, says Griffith, she would have visited the sports psychologists at the ENB school more often.

“I would be stressed and I think it would have helped me express my thoughts,” she says. “Often times we are afraid to have these conversations because we are afraid to appear in a certain way. With social media, we always try to appear perfect. But I’ve found that when we talk about these things, we find that many others have the same experience. “

Milwaukee ballet dancer Alana Griffith. Nathaniel Davuaer, courtesy of the Milwaukee Ballet

Sometimes the desire to inspire the family helps motivate a dancer to continue through the victims of leaving the home. When Andrés Castillo of the Alabama Ballet first came to the United States from Colombia to pursue career opportunities, he was initially excited to be in a new country and didn’t mind being alone. “I called my mother every day and sent her pictures of me dancing,” he says. “But I haven’t been to Colombia since I left eight years ago. My mother was able to visit me six years ago and I got very emotional. ”Family birthdays and holidays are also difficult for Castillo, especially Christmas. “It’s hard to know that they’re all gathered, but I can’t be there,” he says.

At the same time, he feels driven to encourage his mother and two younger brothers. “My mother wanted to be a dancer when she was younger and my two brothers are ballet dancers. It’s hard to be the first to come to the United States, and I’ve wanted to give up sooner, so I want to show them that anything is possible. “

Andres Castillo in “Romeo and Juliet”. Melissa Dooley, Courtesy Alabama Ballet

While it may be necessary to leave the home to advance training and career, a dancer’s journey sometimes brings you closer to where you started. In 2018 Kochetkova left the company after 11 years as the solo director of the San Francisco Ballet. “Back then, my mother had to take care of my two grandmothers,” she says. “It was very difficult for me to take time off from the SFB to dance more at home in Russia, and it was impossible for her to travel so far to California to see me dance.” She moved back to Europe to freelance and be closer to home.

This August Kochetkova joins the English National Ballet, where she also danced in the early years of her career. Again, she is far from her family, but her global career has shaped her as a dancer: “I believe that everything happens for a reason and that all experiences contribute to making artists what they are.”