Walt Disney and the politically right: all of the crimes of the animated classics

Let’s start with a necessary premise. The confusion Entertainment Weekly caused in reporting the opinion of a reporter from SFGate, an online magazine in the San Francisco area that many of you have probably never heard of to this day, is completely unchecked. On the other hand, if there is anything righteous, then, as Heath Ledger also put it, Chaos is the born dark knight and indeed the evidence we had these days. In Italy, few have refrained from reporting the hype of the story because we cannot ride the noise of the demolition culture that belongs to us.
The reconstruction of the event is that the kiss that the prince gives Snow White is not consensual, is the dead girl or, if you prefer, is forced into an eternal sleep after swallowing the witch’s apple. An aspect that frustrates one of Walt Disney’s most genuine and intriguing works for the production cycle, but gives us an interesting starting point: if we wanted to evade the magic of 20th century fairy tales and put them in an up-to-date, modern setting, real context, how many other crimes would we find, especially when compared to the often itchy Italian bureaucracy?

The necessary and necessary disclaimer is that from now on this article addresses the problem with an ironic streak. We in no way believe that anything we are about to say below can be real, and we trust that none of our readers can in the least consider it as such.

The three little pigs

In 1933, Jimmy, Timmy and Tommy become protagonists of a crime that was not so deeply rooted in international culture in their day. The three little pigs are the forerunners of illegal building, a problem that hit Italy after World War II and caused an important mess that led to Law 47 of 1985.
In the Walt Disney-produced film, if justice had been entrusted to Burt Gillett Ezekiel, armed with a forceful breath ready to dismantle illegal activity, Italian law would have intervened with a fine of up to 10,000 euros, but there was no For Jimmy , Timmy and Tommy, a building permit and the illegal division of land for building purposes could also have resulted in a two-year arrest and a fine of up to 51,000 euros.
Ezekiel saved them from a long process from which they might have been saved thanks to the clean criminal record and empty prison decree. Home care for a year, well learned in installments and lessons. The worst is definitely Jimmy, who built the house with bricks.

Pinocchio

In 1940 a man in his fifties, dressed in Tyrolean style and passionate about carpentry, owner of a cat and a fish, decides to have a child. He answers the name Geppetto, lives in Italy, but does not know that if he asks Mastro Ciliegia about this piece of wood, he will be committing an illegal act.
The law in Italy does not allow adoption by singles unless there are special cases, such as the mother’s non-recognition of a child who would therefore be left without a family, or the care of minors in family emergencies.
Not only does Geppetto cheat on the adoption lists, but he even decides to make this baby herself. In addition, there is a second crime in the third Disney feature film: the kidnapping of minors by the barkers of the land of toys.
As for their conversion to donkeys, the Italian judiciary has not yet been updated, but it appears that the Conte government has been activated with a DPCM to avoid anyone turning someone else’s children into donkeys and going unpunished in the future.
Unfortunately, the Prime Minister’s resignation has ruined ongoing work. On the other hand, nature has already thought of making them pay for the cat and the fox.

Peter Pan

London, early twentieth century. Among the greatest scams in the Disney universe, we certainly find that of Peter Pan, charged with the crime of evading incompetent people.
Article 643 of the Criminal Code, on the other hand, underlines that anyone who abuses the needs, passions or inexperience of a minor will be punished with a prison sentence of two to six years plus a fine of up to 2,000 euros. make a profit for yourself or others.
Lost children needed a mother, Peter Pan needed company, Wendy was looking for an adventure: needs were crossed and deception served.
The same article also deals with people in a state of illness or mental retardation, among other things, and I urge you to argue the opposite for lost children who are forced to dress like fools, wear animal skins and use makeshift weapons. They are also malnourished and abused. As big as a crime to overshadow the fact that Standing Bull drugged minors. And then we take it out on James Hook.

Bambi

Here the victim is undoubtedly just one thing: Bambi. The hunter who deprives him of his mother is the only one who can give him a guide to a normal and peaceful life without continuing to associate with disreputable rabbits and skunks that cannot support him in any path of professional and human growth clearly a poacher.
The offense is that of aggravated theft to the detriment of the state, in addition to illegally carrying weapons, as regulated in Article 699 of the Criminal Code. In the first aspect, it must be taken into account that the state’s unavailable assets are protected in the interests of the national and international community. Therefore, the aggravated theft comes into play with the killing of the fauna by the poacher, who at this point is also accused of harm. Nobody can claim that the death of Bambi’s mother did serious damage not only to the fortune of the state but also to the biological and psychological damage of all of us, that we grew up as children with trauma that was not seen, not shown, but shown was only felt. Notorious hunter, restore our sanity to us.

Alice in Wonderland

Did you think the Queen of Hearts was the greatest criminal in Wonderland? Mistake. Let’s talk about the mad hatter. First, hold a dormouse in a teapot from which you will pour a drink. This is absolutely not hygienic. Here, however, the competent authority intervenes.
What interests us is embezzlement, which is regulated in Article 646 of the Criminal Code and punishes anyone who appropriates another person’s movable property in order to obtain an unjust gain for himself or for another. And let’s face it: take possession of the Bianconiglio spring onion, then clumsily break it and return it ruined and destroyed, which also causes biological damage to the owner. It is right that he is punished with a prison sentence of two to five years.
In addition, we are not entirely sure whether Biagio Lucertola, the chimney sweep with a ladder, practices the profession with a regular license: his luck is that he is sent into the clouds by a sneeze from Alice, otherwise by imprisonment for six months up to three years and the fine of up to 50,000 euros under Article 348 of the Criminal Code did not even take it from the husband of the Queen of Hearts. He would also have avoided Captain Libeccio, who prefers illegal work, as well as the carpenter who, to please the walrus and a group of ostriches, is building a house on state property that is clearly illegal and without a permit. The three little pigs didn’t teach anything.

The sword in the stone

This north tower, valued as Sir Ettore, is clearly not up to standard. Using it for guests isn’t a crime, but it is certainly a pointless gesture. That said, Gaius is no different from the poacher who takes it out against Bambi’s mother as it definitely has no license to shoot arrows at deer.
But let’s keep our focus on Ettore, who we doubt did claim to have hired a maid in the house. Who was, among others, where was he when Merlin threw the curse on his kitchen? How does he notice it after all this time?
A maid’s black payment currently provides for a first fine of up to 500 euros, and secondly, if continuous illegal work is triggered, it can reach as much as 12,000 euros. We doubt Ettore has any money given the way he runs his castle and Semola’s training.
In addition, it is a crime not to send minors to school, especially if elementary school is canceled. Since 2010, in Italy, the parent who does not send the child to middle school has not been sanctioned and Semola was supposed to be in middle school at 12, so Ettore would only be saved thanks to this ratification.

Aladdin

Too convenient to be the law and change it for your own benefit, dear Sultan. Meanwhile, Aladdin is guilty of all kinds of crimes, from theft to embezzlement, but I would say that these aspects are the basis of the leitmotif of the entire film.
Abu is no exception, if we are honest, right down to the greatest criminal in all of Agrabah: the genius. Article 544 ter, entitled “Abuse of Animals”, states that anyone who injures an animal for cruelty – but above all without necessity – or tires it because of its characteristics or does unbearable work is punishable by three to three years imprisonment. Eighteen Months, up to a fine of € 30,000.
It is clear that there was no need to turn Abu into an elephant and put him at the head of an unauthorized procession, forcing him to do work that is not the nature of a small chimpanzee. To save the genius, one would only have discounted ten million years of incarceration in the lamp: we must not imagine what the previous crimes had been.

We could go on for a long time, as you suspected, and find a barrage of legal problems within the Disney universe that would lead those involved in very long and cumbersome litigation.
Do you think that, among other things, we wanted to avoid going into the merits of this fox, Robin Hood, who campaigns for the crimes listed here?
In conclusion, the ironic streak we talked about is omitted. It is clear that the intention of this article is to put in front of everyone’s nose that fairy tales must remain in the world of fantasy and that it will not be a cartoon that inspires us to do the same actions that are listed here and which in reality cannot be taken over as daily promotions.
Let us leave fairy tales where they are and not tarnish the memory of a visionary like Walt Disney, who performed a miracle with Snow White. People are not used to miracles, as Disney himself had Alberto Sordi say in the final monologue of the music master in the segment of Gianni, the whale, but at least every now and then we could try.