NASA Adopts SFMTA Determination-Making Mannequin for Lunar Mission – Streetsblog San Francisco
NASA engineers, impressed by SFMTA’s outreach and community meeting program, have decided that the construction of the next lunar launch, including choice of propulsion, rocket design and other factors, will be based on public comment.
“We have a long history of not listening to the public before launching a rocket,” said Jeffrey Smuvlin, NASA’s chief of propulsion systems. “That needs to change. And SFMTA has shown us the way.”
Following this concept, Smulvin instructed the agency to discard any design guides based on Newtonian physics or a century of international best practices, and instead rely on the “something is better than nothing” principle, gut instinct and if it suits your gut instinct corresponds, public comment.
At the first such meeting, held Tuesday at Moffett Field, members of the public were each given two minutes to address a panel of NASA directors.
“I think you should use organic, natural methane for fuel — it’s less wasteful,” said Mountain View’s Joyce Souffle. “I know the bottling and collection will take longer, but you haven’t been to the moon in fifty years, so why the rush?”
“Just attach some impulse engines and dilithium crystals to the ship,” said Bobby Canolie, a foodie from North Beach. “It worked on TV!”
Meanwhile, staff at UCSF General Hospital, inspired by NASA, are moving forward with similar plans to adopt SFMTA’s outreach efforts as a core component of their treatment programs. “Yes, why shouldn’t we listen to the public?” said Dr. George Whackedelly. “We must be able to say that we are listening.”
In addition, Whackedelly said that from now on the hospital would ignore studies of successful surgical techniques from Europe and Asia. “Just because a new heart bypass technique has shown better success rates abroad doesn’t mean it will work here. That’s not Denmark.” Whackedelly added that he is reactivating the bloodletting/leech unit. When asked why he would resort to an ancient medical technique that doesn’t work, he said “we have to do something” and that doctors at a clinic in a São Paulo suburb still use lye.
The first program to receive public funding under the new policy will be the hospital’s Brain Surgery Unit. Operations will be delayed for three years or more while public comments are collected and processed, Whackedelly said. He added that even if 99 percent of the public urged the hospital to go back to science, studies and international best practices, they would not. “We can’t go back. It is too late. We must do something now.”
“You spend too much money on surgical tools when drills and picks from any hardware store will do,” Clark Chan of Great Maul Hardware in Taraval said at the hospital’s first public session on surgical techniques, also held Tuesday. “A drill is a drill is a drill. If it’s good enough for a two-by-four, it’s good enough for my skull.”
“You know what? I’m flying to Sweden for my brain tumor surgery,” said Shane Rodgers, arriving at the meeting in his scrubs. “You guys are f*cknuts.”
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Streetsblog will be closed on Friday March 31st in celebration of Cesar Chavez Day. Since April Fool’s Day is Saturday, we thought we’d publish this post earlier.
