They poached my handyman and it did not go effectively

Dear Ms. Manners: We have a handyman, George, with whom we have been working for several years. He was originally recommended to us by a close friend and a small group of us employs him fairly well.

My husband and I trust George to be a dependable and trustworthy helper as we no longer have to do many chores ourselves as we get older and we reward him generously. We also got to know George’s strengths and weaknesses: for example, he is a terrible painter and a mediocre landscaper, but a great plumber and a good electrician.

On two occasions various neighbors approached George when he was outside our home and asked if he would be willing to do any work for them. I find this to be 1. a little rude and 2. potentially unwise. Instead, I think they should ask my husband and I if we would mind if they “poach” our employee. If they are wise, they should seek our opinion on his abilities as well.

I would add that on both occasions the neighbors hired him and were disappointed with the painting work he did for them which led to minor disputes over what he was charging them.

Am I wrong in thinking that a neighbor should do us the courtesy of asking before trying to hire our handyman?

GOOD READER: Your neighbors are rightfully forbidden to help themselves during the time you are paying for. The time you don’t pay for still belongs to George.

In theory, this means that it’s acceptable to ask a gardener for his card while walking past him and sowing the lawn, provided the exchange is quick. In practice, such requests usually result in a lengthy discussion which, if visible to George’s current employer, will be resented if he is paid by the hour.

For that reason – and to avoid the resulting problem with George’s painting skills – it would have been wiser if your neighbor had asked you for a recommendation. But you’ve been spared the discomfort of admitting that George forgets to paint the wall behind the couch – and you’ve retaliated without seeming too rude by pointing out that you could have saved them some trouble.

Dear Ms. Manners: Growing up, I was always taught to set the table by placing the fork and knife on the right side of the plate, on the napkin. Placing it on the napkin prevented the fork and knife from touching the empty table.

Now I know it’s napkin, fork, plate, knife – all in a row. Is it okay to have the fork and knife right on the table, or does it require a placemat or tablecloth?

GOOD READER: Etiquette does not object to the direct contact of forks or knives with the table. And Miss Manners points out that unless the meal takes place at a picnic table, it is just as hygienic as a placemat or tablecloth, since hosts who forget to keep the table clean are likely to be just as absent-minded about it cutlery goes.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners on her website www.missmanners.com; to her email, Dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.