The stock of the Pittsburgh Steelers was on a fast track to the moon heading into the 2023 season.

Then, in Week One against the San Francisco 49ers, that stock came crashing back to Earth like a lead balloon.

Things went sideways quickly in a 30-7 loss at Acrisure Stadium on the North Shore in a much-anticipated season opener.

For Good Morning Football co-host and popular NFL Network personality Kyle Brandt, he believes that the Steelers “told the biggest lie” in Week One and that they’ll be just fine and will bounce back.

In his latest 10 Takes with Kyle Brandt podcast, he emphasized that Week One lies to people when it comes to results in the NFL.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again to you: Week One is a liar. It is a pathological liar. Let me make sure you understand: there are teams in Week One that looked like garbage but will have home playoff games this year. There are teams that looked like Super Bowl teams but will miss the playoffs. You can look it up historically; Week One is a liar,” Brandt said on his 10 Takes podcast. “Who told the biggest lie in Week One? …I think it’s the Steelers … I think that the Steelers are going to get off the mat. I just think they ran into the best team in football in the 49ers.”

It’s not at all surprising that Brandt remains in on the Steelers and believes in them despite the lopsided loss in Week One. All summer long Brandt was seemingly driving the Steelers’ hype train, stating early on in the summer that he was picking them to make the playoffs because of Mike Tomlin and Kenny Pickett, well before the hype got out of control in the preseason.

Though the loss was an ugly one for the Steelers with them getting beat up in all three phases, chances are they just were dominated by the best team in football when it’s all said and done. It would not be at all shocking to see the 49ers hoisting the Lombardi Trophy at the end of the year in Las Vegas.

They are that good.

It’s also not surprising that the Steelers have some work to do. While Pittsburgh did a great job reshaping the roster this offseason through free agency, via a trade and in the 2023 NFL Draft, they are still a work in progress and need real reps and adversity to build upon and come together. Though training camp was rather intense and the starters played quite a bit in the preseason, there’s nothing like regular season football.

There’s also nothing like playing the 49ers, too, apparently.

Brandt has faith the Steelers will get off the mat and will be who everyone thought they were going to be, this time in Week Two. We’ll see if Pittsburgh — already pretty banged up — can get off the mat in primetime on Monday Night Football in Week Two.

The post Kyle Brandt: Steelers ‘Instructed Largest Lie’ Of Week 1, Will Be Ready To Get Off The Mat Shifting Ahead appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

SAN FRANCISCO — As city leaders, attorneys and police debate how to curb the practice of blatant downtown drug trafficking, a local is said to have offered his opinion to police on the issue when they asked him – again – on suspicion of distributing Fentanyl arrests .

“You can grab me a million times and we’ll get out quick,” 28-year-old Jackson Torres reportedly told a San Francisco police officer when he was arrested on March 26 for allegedly selling fentanyl on 7th Street. Torres added that he was not concerned about the arrest.

But for now, at least, Torres is behind bars, where he faces two separate counts — one accusing him of selling fentanyl on March 26, when he was arrested in San Francisco, and another for violating his supervised release from a 2020 conviction for selling fentanyl in San Francisco. Prosecutors are now using that earlier case and his apparent lack of concern about future prosecutions to argue that Torres should remain in prison until his case is resolved.

The indictment alleges that an officer using binoculars remotely spotted Torres in three separate drug transactions. When officers arrested him, he allegedly ran away, throwing three bags of drugs in the air as he escaped. When police caught up with him and arrested him, they claimed he was carrying six ounces of the deadly drug.

According to court documents, following his most recent arrest by federal agents, Torres was charged with possession with intent to distribute fentanyl. The indictment carries a maximum sentence of 20 years in federal prison, but when Torres was last charged with fentanyl trafficking, he received a much shorter sentence of 12 months and a day in prison and three years of supervised release. This time, if convicted, federal guidelines recommend a sentence of between 57 and 71 months, with the decision resting solely with the judge.

For years, state and federal officials have raised concerns about downtown drug markets, particularly in the Tenderloin neighborhood, but no one seems to be able to agree on a solution. Mayor London Breed noted at a recent press conference that “compassion kills people” while calling for more arrests, and Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis took advantage of the spectacle of the open-air drug markets during a trip to the Bay Area this month as a campaign slot, arguing that California’s approach to fighting crime softly caused the problem.

On the other hand, many city officials and advocates have argued that an approach focused on arrests and prosecutions would be akin to the so-called War on Drugs, which sapped law enforcement resources but did little more than cut cocaine use – and heroin production and methamphetamine sales from coast to coast. In 2020, the US Department of Justice announced the creation of the Federal Initiative in the Tenderloin (FIT) to aggressively prosecute suspected drug dealers. At the same time, then-district attorney Chesa Boudin urged the opposite, arguing that street drug dealers were being quickly replaced and police should instead focus on identifying large drug dealers.

For Torres, the federal charges are just the latest misadventure in a difficult life. Court records show he was born and raised in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, but escaped gang violence alone at the age of 17 by boarding a northbound freight train. He was arrested and detained by federal agents in Arizona and stayed with a relative in Louisiana while seeking asylum in the United States, briefly residing in El Salvador before immigrating back to the United States in 2014 and settling in Oakland.

According to prosecutors, he began selling drugs in the Bay Area that same year and caused the first of 10 arrests between 2014 and March 26 last year. In March 2020, he was charged in federal court with selling fentanyl, secured bail, then arrested just three months later in an SFPD covert operation. By the time he pleaded guilty and received his 12-month sentence, he had already served about half of it in custody.

Torres’ attorney said in 2020 he expects Torres to be deported sometime in early 2021 after his release from prison. Court records don’t say if that was the case or not, but on January 12, 2023, he was back in San Francisco. That day, a police officer arrested him on suspicion of possessing 10 ounces of fentanyl for sale, among other drugs.

It was his first of three drug arrests in San Francisco in 2023.

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The San Francisco 49ers face a major mystery over their quarterback position, with “Mr Irrelevant” Brock Purdy shining even in the absence of first-round draft pick Trey Lance

Trey Lance and Brock Purdy will compete for the San Francisco 49ers seed

The San Francisco 49ers have been told they have a big problem with quarterback Trey Lance’s future as Brock Purdy is “clearly better” than the first-round draft pick. Purdy was brought to the starting position after Lance sustained a season-ending injury and has made the role his own.

Purdy made an immediate impact after taking the seed in San Francisco and leading the team to the playoffs. The quarterback was selected with the last pick of the 2022 NFL Draft, earning him the nickname “Mr Irrelevant.”

The young quarterback shouldn’t be the team’s starter this season, especially considering Lance finished third overall in last year’s draft. Now, however, it looks like the 49ers will have to choose between Lance and Purdy next season.

In his podcast, NFL pundit Bill Simmons explained that the 49ers may have to trade Lance because Purdy is the better player. Purdy led the 49ers to victory over the Seattle Seahawks in the NFL Wild Card Round on Saturday night.

The youngster threw for 332 yards, three touchdowns and was not caught in the win – it was his first playoff game ever.

On Monday, Simmons explained, “What are you doing with Trey Lance? They traded all of those picks to get Trey Lance. They end up getting a quarterback who is clearly better than Trey Lance in the last pick of the draft.”

Brock Purdy has been great since he played for the San Francisco 49ers

“So what are you doing now? Is Trey Lance available? Would you trade for Trey Lance? He’s coming in with an injury… They’ve got two quarterbacks that could probably start for other teams. But as long as Purdy doesn’t completely self-destruct, he’ll go on being that guy.

“12 teams need a quarterback. You will probably keep it. Purdy was 18-30, 332 yards, three touchdowns and no picks. It continues to be the most incredible story.”

“There aren’t many aspects other than to say that this is incredible, but it also makes you think about how stupid drawing is.”

The post San Francisco 49ers instructed Brock Purdy is “clearly higher” than Trey Lance in commerce warning appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

The sight of a dozen or more container ships, each the length of the Salesforce Tower, sitting in the bay chugging diesel has become the norm for Bay Area residents and those driving over the Bay Bridge.

That’s about to change, after the organizations responsible for the movement of the 200,000-ton ships in and out of the Port of Oakland launched new rules this week.

Previously, ships joined a queue on approaching the coast and anchored in the bay while awaiting their docking space. As of Monday, the vessels will instead receive an assignment time from the port and remain 50 miles off the coast while they wait, outside of a new zone named the the “Safety and Air Quality Area,” leaving the bay waters open.

Container ships sit idle in the the San Francisco Bay just outside of the Port of Oakland on March 26, 2021 in San Francisco, California.

Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

“The overall goal is to reduce congestion, to promote maritime safety and minimize air quality impacts,” Port of Oakland spokesperson Roberto Bernardo told SFGATE over the phone. He said that on Wednesday, there are ten ships anchored in the Bay awaiting berth at the port. “The numbers should go down in the coming days, you’ll see a dramatic decrease,” he said.

The new off-shore queuing process was designed in a joint effort by the Pacific Maritime Association, the Pacific Merchant Shipping Association and the Marine Exchange.

“The new process reduces emissions from vessels located near the Bay Area, and allows more space between vessels – an important safety feature during winter storms,” ​​The PMSA said in a statement to SFGATE, “The new procedure also enables vessels to slow steam across the Pacific, thereby reducing overall emissions throughout their journey.”

“Air quality is a huge issue at all ports,” Bernardo said. The Port of Oakland says it has reduced diesel emissions by 86% since 2005, largely through the use of “shore power,” meaning the vessels turn off their engines and plug into a 100% carbon-free electric grid when berthed. “When they plug in they actually run on pure solar and wind energy,” Roberto said. “The maritime industry has come a long way. The goal is to be an all electric port.”

Container ships sit idle in the the San Francisco Bay just outside of the Port of Oakland on March 26, 2021 in San Francisco, California.

Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

The new queuing system was first implemented in November of last year at the ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach, and significantly reduced the vessel backlog in San Pedro Bay during the historic supply chain congestion caused by the pandemic.

“The resounding success of the new container vessel queuing system in Southern California has set the stage for this expansion to the Bay Area,” PMA President and CEO Jim McKenna said in a statement. “This updated system has reduced the number of vessels at anchor near our ports, enabling safer operation for vessels and their crews as well as additional protections for coastal communities.”

The number of container ships at anchor and drifting off the coast around Los Angeles fell to 17 by January, down from 86 when the new process went into effect in November, according to Marine Exchange of Southern California, a nonprofit that tracks the movement of vessels .

The new rules do not reduce the overall number of ships coming into the Port of Oakland. “It doesn’t mean there are going to be fewer ships, it just means they’re not going to be anchored in the San Francisco Bay,” Bernardo said.

If you don’t have a view of the bay right now, this Marine Traffic live map show the current number of cargo ships, and all other vessels, in the area.

The post Cargo ships sitting within the San Francisco bay advised to go away appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

NORMAN, Okla. (KFOR) – Deciding to move is one of the more costly, stressful decisions a family can make. But a Norman mother says she’s between a rock and a hard place, being told to leave her home less than four months after moving in.

To donate to Chelsye’s GoFundMe, click here.

Chelsye Bacon has a lot on her plate. For starters, she’s a college student, a single mother of four and was nine-months pregnant when meeting with KFOR.

“This is a boy,” she said, describing her growing family. “He’ll be here any time now.”

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Chelsye’s family moved into a Norman townhome in late January.

Now, just months later, she says she’s being forced to move again.

Her story starts just a week after moving in, when her washer flooded.

“So it was backed up, and my dining room and kitchen flooded, so I wasn’t allowed to use my washer,” Chelsye explained. “Then the following day, took a bath and my kitchen started leaking.”

From a drip in the kitchen, to flooding toilets and washers, Chelsye complained a handful of times to management.

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According to her online portal, it appears maintenance was responsive in hiring plumbers to try and find a fix. But problems persisted.

The company, Red Door Management, noted in a March phone call that Chelsye complained her ceiling was still leaking and that plumbing hadn’t worked properly since she moved in.

While visiting the home, News 4 found a hole in the kitchen ceiling from prior maintenance work, and a can to catch dripping water ready on Chelsye’s stove.

Photo from KFOR.

Some packaged food items had also been moved to the living room to keep dry.

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In the midst of these issues, Chelsye was served with a lease violation from management for “failure to maintain her dwelling in a healthy manner” in late March.

With four kids at home, nine months into a high-risk pregnancy, Chelsye claims most cleanliness or clutter issues were partially a result of the plumbing.

“Like helped my snacks and just everything that is in the way of the leak is in my living room,” she said.

The situation came to a head in mid-April. Chelsye reported her downstairs toilet had flooded again.

She received a letter in the mail three days later.

“I got a vacate notice that I had to move out,” she said.

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Red Door Management claimed in the letter the “current plumbing issues require the property to be vacant.”

They also said they didn’t know the extent of the issues prior to Chelsye’s move in, and wrote that the family must be out of the home by May 31 or risk losing their deposit.

“I was devastated,” said Chelsye. “Because I physically cannot move.”

In Your Corner stopped by Red Door Management and spoke with the person in charge on the phone.

“[Chelsye] failed to clean up her home, and has been there in a very short period of time,” they said. “That is the reason we gave her the notice to vacate.”

News 4 pointed out the notice sent to Chelsye cited plumbing issues, and had no mention of a messy home. The person on the phone said they would need to “talk to the manager.”

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Chelsye pays for the home with the help of Section 8. In a follow-up email after the phone call, Red Door claimed the vacate order cited plumbing as opposed to home maintenance to better protect Chelsye’s federal subsidy moving forward.

The true cause of the order, they said, resulted from the March lease violation. They say the issue wasn’t fixed by a follow-up inspection days later.

“She failed to clean up her home and has been there in a very short period of time,” said the Red Door representative on the phone. “That is the reason we gave her the notice to vacate.”

But clean is in the eye of the beholder. Chelsye provided KFOR with a number of photos she says were taken shortly after the follow-up inspection.

These line up with what News 4 found. While cluttered, we wouldn’t describe it as dirty.

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We shared as much on the phone.

“For somebody who’s lived there less than eight weeks, and has had to deal with water leaking from the kitchen to the point where they have to keep some of their food in their living room,” In Your Corner reporter Adam Snider said to Red Door . “With four children at home and a fifth on the way, it would look to me that she’s doing the best she can.”

In the post phone call email, Red Door claimed our story would force them to inform the Norman Housing Authority of Chelsye’s violations, which they said would “undoubtedly create an even greater hardship.”

News 4 left the decision up to Chelsye, who opted to share her story. She’s hoping for help and hopes to warn others of what happened.

Contractor from In Your Corner archives makes return

She also doesn’t know what happens next.

“I don’t know because I don’t physically have the money to move,” Chelsye said.

Chelsye’s family has now grown, as she has given birth to a baby boy days after our interview!

News 4 spoke with the Norman Housing Authority briefly at the start of our investigation. We had hoped to discuss the condition of Chelsye’s property, but multiple follow-up requests were not returned.

Chelsye says she has been in contact with her case worker and is looking to figure out what happens next.

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Being a mom is a tough job, in large part because you just can’t reason with small children. What you can do, however, is lie to them. In honor of Mother’s Day, we asked Atlas Obscura readers to send us the most outlandish white lies their mothers ever told them. As it turns out, moms all over the world are telling some wonderfully inventive lies.

We received over 500 responses, and as uniquely crazy as many of them were, there was also plenty of common ground. Many mothers still tell variations on the classics: If you make a funny face, it will stay that way; if you eat before you swim, you’ll get cramps (or die); moms have eyes in the backs of their heads, and so on.

But then there were the more esoteric fibs, such as the dangers of dragonflies sewing your lips together, that playing in puddles will give you polio, or that a little man lives in your eyes and signals your mom when you aren’t telling the truth.

We couldn’t include all of the fantastic entries we received, but we’ve collected over 100 of our favorites below. Check and see how many of your own mom’s fantastic tales you recognize. Oh, and watch out for the “Lie Man” …

Lies and Cheats

“If you lie to me, I will know because when I ask you to look into a bowl of water, I will be able to see your reflection.” —Patricia Petersen, Vancouver, British Columbia

“In order to keep us kids from stealing pennies from water fountains, my mother told us the water was electrified and we would die.” —G. Johnson, Georgia

“That a little birdie followed me around and flew back and told my mother when I was doing something that wasn’t allowed, like cycling down 11th Avenue, or stealing more than my share of cookies.” —Sherrie, Fredericton, Canada

“Mom always knew when I was fibbing. She said she could tell because I had a black mark on my forehead. My grandma used to say the same thing. I would run to the mirror to see it, but it was never there. They said I couldn’t see it because fibbers eventually go blind! I was scared to death.” —Batzion, Chicago, Illinois

“That she could tell I was lying by looking at my tongue. I lived in fear of her telling me to stick out my tongue.” —Ann Chafin, Oak Hill, West Virginia

“That my eyes would turn yellow if I lied.” —Terry Burd, San Juan Capistrano, California

“I asked my mom about little bumps I would get on my tongue. She told me they were liars bumps.” —Donna, Cheyenne, Wyoming

“That if I ate bread-crusts my hair would get curly.” —Ysabet, Tucson, Arizona Photo Illustration: Aïda Amer; Bread: dmjarvey on VisualHunt.com / CC BY 2.0

Bread (Hair-Related)

“That eating bread crusts would make my hair curly. It never worked on me, because I didn’t want curly hair!” —Emma, Oxford, United Kingdom

“If I ate the crusts of my bread, my hair would get curly (I wanted curly hair)!” —Kate, Des Moines, Iowa

“You won’t have curly hair if you don’t eat your crusts. I’m not sure I wanted curly hair but I must have eaten a lot of crusts.” —Martin, Stourbridge, United Kingdom

“Eating burnt toast at breakfast would take the curls (very unmanly) out of my hair.” —Brent Parks, Radford, Virginia

“When I was very tiny, my mother always told me my pin-straight hair would grow in curly if I ate my all bread crusts.” —Emily, Iowa

“My mother told me that if I ate my sandwich crusts all the time, my hair would curl. I had very straight long black hair as a youth.” —Margie, Oregon

“Eating the crusts of your bread will give you curly hair.” —Rosie, Farnham, United Kingdom

“As a little boy, my husband hated his white blond hair, and although he also didn’t like bread crust, his mother said if he ate it he would get the brown hair he so wanted.” —Jeannie Havnen, Clive, Iowa

“The claim was that my very straight hair would become lovely and curly if l ate all the crusts on bread, instead of just the soft middles. I ate mountains of crusty bread, and my hair is still as straight as a yard of pump water!” —Pam Rankin, Boise, Idaho

“She told me I would get curly hair if I ate the burnt toast. I don’t think I ever really believed her. I’m 81 years old now.” —Patricia King, Ocala, Florida

Bread (Other)

“You had to eat your bread crusts if you wanted to learn how to whistle.” —Rose Bork, Appleton, Wisconsin

“Mom convinced me to eat the crusts of bread by telling me that ‘that’s where all the vitamins are,’ as though vitamins could somehow migrate outward during the baking process. I’m not entirely sure why she imagined that, at age 5 or 6, I’d even care about consuming vitamin-rich foods, but it worked.” —Nicole, Rochester, New York

“Eating end of a bread loaf will help to grow breasts.” —Elina, Latvia

“We were told as children that eating the crust on bread makes your teeth whiter.” —Scott Cooper, North Tazewell, Virginia

“So she wouldn’t have to cut the edges off of my sandwiches, when I was 8, my mom told me eating the bread crusts would make my boobs grow big.” —Sakana, Santa Fe, New Mexico

“Mom told me that if I didn’t eat the crust on the Wonder Bread, it would chase me at night when I was sleeping!” —Sno, Buffalo, New York

“Growing up we always had a toaster that made the bread a little ‘toastier’ than would be desired. Mom told her three daughters that if we all ate burnt toast, we would become opera singers. As you would guess, none of us went into show business.” —Del, South Carolina

“White bread is only for white people. We buy wheat bread, because we’re brown.” —Isa Flores, Austin, Texas

Catching Birds

“If you sprinkle salt on a bird’s tail, it will sit still and you can catch it.” —Frank Hartigan, Springfield, Oregon

“I wanted a pet very badly and my mother told me that if I could put salt on the tail of a bird, I’d be able to catch it. Hours were spent outside with the salt shaker and various homemade traps.” —Anne Falbowski, Colchester, Connecticut

“To catch a bird, sprinkle salt on its tail, and it can’t fly away.” —Pat Benard, Spruce Pine, North Carolina

“She would bring salt shakers to the beach and told us if we were able to get salt on a seagull’s tail feathers it would become our pet. Her way of keeping four kids occupied.” —Charlie, Florida

“If you put salt on a bird’s tail, it will freeze and you can catch it. She would send me out to the backyard with a salt shaker. I would spend hours ‘catching birds.’” —Sharon Arthur, New York City, New York

Body Horror

“My mother and my friend’s mother told us that the the inside of our ears would turn black if we were naughty.” —Úlfhildur, Iceland

“If I didn’t stop crying my head would fall off and laugh at me.” —Amy Garnet, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

“You would get spots like a rotting banana if you didn’t go outside.” —Jay, Newfoundland

“My intestines would rupture if I continued to use my belly as a bongo drum.” —Jen, Colorado

“If you play with fire, you will pee in the bed.” —Sara Klinglesmith, Louisville, Kentucky

“That if you play with fire, you will pee the bed. She also said that if you get a stye in your eye, you had taken a pee along the road. Obviously a urine-centric theme.” —Thomas Lhamon, Traverse City, Michigan

“That when you drive by a field and smell the fertilizer/manure, you should breathe in deeply, that it is good for your lungs.” —Katerina, Czech Republic

“She vehemently denies it now, but I distinctly remember my mom telling me that babies come out of your armpits.” —Nina, New York City

“Not to play in rain puddles. Will get polio.” —Maryann Kelly, Boston, Massachusetts

“My mom told my sister this, but she said that if you keep scratching your booboos and drink water that all the water would start pouring out of your cuts and scrapes.” —Carrie Engerrand, Texas

“She told me that my head would turn around if I would leave the house with my hair wet.” —Luka Bak, Croatia

“Potty training: Mom always reminded my sister and I that if we didn’t wipe front to back we wouldn’t have friends.” —Christy, Georgia

“My mother used to convince me that I was tired by telling me that I had ‘twirlies’ in my eyes that she could see. The more twirlies you had, the sleepier you were. Always sent me running straight to bed.” —Sarah Khalil, Beirut, Lebanon

“Freckles are erased by rubbing cucumbers on them.” —Caitrin McCormick, Minnesota

“My mom told me that if I didn’t wear socks with my tennis shoes, my toes would rot off.” —Taryn Sparacio, Bellevue, Washington

“If you water houseplants while you are menstruating the plants will die.” —Susan, Mesa, Arizona

“I’m gonna unscrew your belly button and your legs will fall off!” —Deborah Riehl, North Creek, Washington

“When you lose a baby tooth, if you don’t put your tongue in the hole where the tooth was, you’ll grow a new gold tooth in that spot. Our mom HAD a gold crown on a molar, so we really believed that we, too, could grow a gold tooth.” —Tracy Monroe, Indiana

“You get canker sores if you pee off a bridge.” —Stacey Henrikson, Rochester Hills, Michigan

“Never cover your belly button when pregnant or your baby can’t breath.” —Linda Lightner, Indiana

“My mother told me if I bit my nails, a hand would grow in my stomach.” —Mary Pagone, Los Angeles, California

“Whenever I was scared to go to sleep in my room as a little kid, she would give me a spray bottle of ‘Monster-be-gone’ and spray it upstairs. It worked pretty well.” —Star, Texas Photo Illustration: Aïda Amer; Spray Bottle: Public Domain

Technology

“If you looked at the microwave while it was in use, you’d go blind.” —Sean, Memphis, Tennessee

“Don’t let your umbrella open inside the house or your mommy is going to die.” —Norton McColl, Sao Paulo, Brazil

“If I touched the basement freezer, I would be sucked inside and no one would be able to hear me scream.” —Niki Cotton, Virginia

“My mom told me that jet streams coming from airplanes were actually toilet paper and that if I fell into the airplane toilet I could get sucked out along with it.” —Keilah Keiser, San Diego, California

“That if I sat too close to the TV my eyes would become square.” —Hayley, California

“She said that if I wore my watch to bed, lint would jam up the gears and break it.” —Molly Pohlig, Brooklyn, New York

Sewing

“She said I should never sew on Sunday, because the Devil would make me rip it out with my nose. I was never a seamstress of any kind, but saw no reason to tempt fate, even when I took up embroidery.” —Kathleen, Indianapolis, Indiana

“If you have your clothes sewn while wearing them, to suck on a piece of thread to avoid losing your mind.” —Eny Steinberg, Mexico City, Mexico

“If you sew on a Sunday, you’ll spend eternity in hell picking out the stitches with your nose.” —Cara, Washington D.C.

Cold Concrete

“If you sat on the cement, you would catch a cold.” —Maria Martinez, Napa, California

“Going out with wet hair, wearing fashionable cropped clothing that didn’t come right down to your bum and sitting down on cold concrete all cause a mysterious illness known as ‘a chill on your kidneys.’ When questioned on the symptoms when I was an adult, mum still said ‘well you’ll know all about it when you catch one.’ It seems to also be caused by inadequate vegetable consumption and staying out late without your good coat.” —Sarah, Manchester, United Kingdom

“If you sit on a cold, concrete wall you’ll get a urinary tract infection.” —Anne, Maryland

Strange Men

“That there was a man that traveled around town and he would chop off your middle finger if you used it to make crude hand gestures.” —G. Johnson, Georgia

“If I don’t behave the chimney sweep will come and take me away.” —Bernie Harshman, Arizona

“It is something that I used to tell my boys when they were little: I used to tell them that there was a tiny Lie Man that lived in their eyes, and if they ever told a lie, that little man would show up in their eyes, and I would see him. From that time on, if they ever tried to tell a lie, they would close their eyes, so I couldn’t see ‘The Lie Man.’” —Heidi Harrison, Beacon, New York

“That a mean old man put gumball machines in stores to make little kids cry when their parents denied them the candy.” —Dana Parsons, Scottsdale, Arizona

“In the pre-internet era, she told me that the mailman could read everything I mailed, and that I should never write anything that I wouldn’t want him to read.” —CLK, Vero Beach, Florida

“If my brother and I didn’t behave, she was going to call Joe Schmoe, the baby cop, who would take us to baby jail.” —Bruce S. Bevitz, Orlando, Florida

“She said that the dust under my bed (if not kept clean) would turn into a man. And I thought about that every night before turning off the light.” —Betty Skalski, Winnetka, Illinois

Fairies, Etc.

“House elves exist and that if I follow them to the fairy ring in the yard then I have to stay with them forever.” —Alexandra Green, Ashland City, Tennessee

“This story isn’t about my mother but rather my grandmother who used to watch my sister and I during the summer time when my parents had to work. She had a pocket door off of her kitchen, and for some reason, I was always playing with the brass latch, probably because of the sound it made. That used to annoy her, so she used to tell me that an evil fairy lived within the latch and if I kept playing with her home, she’d come take me in my sleep.” —Owen McCafferty, Cleveland, Ohio

“If I wore my clothes backwards, the fairies would take me away.” —Beth, Ottawa, Canada

“She told me that my freckles were ‘fairy kisses’ from fairies kissing me while I was asleep. Fortunately, I didn’t think it was a scary thing to have happen.” —Kathryn Adams, Toronto, Canada

“My mom would always tell me that under the little silver drain covers in bathrooms, lived a small city of tiny people. She would mention how they survived by drinking the drain water, and would wait for humans who knew to feed them. I would often feed them my leftover bread, tear my food into small pieces to give to them, and put pennies or dimes down the drains where they would fit.” —Elise B., Pico Rivera, California

“She told me that the sudden appearance of dandelions in the yard was because when a leprechaun drops gold coins they turn into flowers in the sunlight.” —James Mitcham, Baltimore, Maryland

Holidays

“Every Easter my mom would take me to a quiet room away from the kitchen. She would sit me down on a comfortable cushion and very seriously tell me that if I sat quietly and concentrated very hard that I could lay an egg. I would sit there, checking behind me occasionally. Sure enough, after close to an hour, an egg would magically appear. Elated, I would run to my mom and triumphantly hand her my magic egg!” —S.Lan123, California

“The brand names on Christmas toys were the names of the elf who made it.” —Thipu, New York

“To deter my brother and I from eating my mom’s delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies she told us the extra crunch to them were frog legs. Really they were walnuts.” —Jen, California Photo Illustration: Aïda Amer; Cookie: Public Domain

Eating

“If I swallowed orange seeds, trees would grow out of my ears.” —Sharon O’Connor, Texas

“To deter my brother and me from eating my mom’s delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies she told us the extra crunch to them were frog legs. Really they were walnuts.” —Jen, California

“If you don’t eat your green vegetables, you will get yellow jaundice.” —Joel H., New York City, New York

“My eyes would turn blue if I ate lots of carrots!” —Dominique, Mexico City

“If you don’t eat beans you will suffer from something she called, ‘Lack-a-Beany.’” —Joyce Ford, Seattle, Washington

“Never go swimming in the pool/ocean after eating watermelon (common parental lie in Israel).” —Sharon, Israel

“You will grow horns when you have a snack while lying in bed. I was quite intrigued as to where the horns will grow and what they will look like (like a cow or like a reindeer or like a wild buck) so I kept on asking irritating questions, until mom gave up and tried to explain the crumbs will change into rocks, which led to more questions…” —Tessa De Villiers, South Africa

“That the peach pits I found outside were ‘hoppy toad’ eggs.” —Kristine, California

“My mom told me that sugary foods had little bugs on them, and the bugs liked to eat teeth, but if I brushed, then it would take them off.” —Adam Drew, Calgary, Canada

“Everything on the ice cream truck is poison.” —Jon Thierry, Dearborn, Michigan

“Rich people eat shrimp for breakfast.” —Teresa, Chicago, Illinois

“Eating any seeds (watermelon and apple) would cause that fruit to grow in my belly.” —Andrea, Massachusetts

“That if I stretch my arms above my head when I’m eating, the food goes to a ‘donkey stomach’ instead of my own.” —Pia, Houston, Texas

“If you leave your glass of orange juice sitting out too long, all of the vitamins will evaporate from it.” —Mark Schaeffer, Oakland, California

Coffee

“Coffee turns your knees black.” —Ryan Maloney, San Diego, California

“Drinking coffee will make hair grow on your toes.” —Lesley, North Carolina

“As a small child I always wanted to drink coffee like the adults. In order to deter this urge, mother told me that if I drank coffee I would break out in freckles the color of coffee. Not wanting freckles of any kind, I believed her, neglecting to question why none of the adults in the family that drank coffee had freckles!” —Debbie Bruce King, Franklin, Tennessee

“That if I drank coffee I would grow hair on my chest!” —Terra Salazar, California

“My hair would turn red if I would drink coffee (hers was red).” —Suzanne, Netherlands

Dead Pets

“For our first pet, my mom agreed to let my brother and I get a parakeet. Though I have no recollection of it, we picked out a green-and-yellow one. The next morning, my mom found the bird lying dead on the bottom of the cage, so she brought it back to the store to get another one. But there were no more green-and-yellow birds left—only blue ones. My mom begrudgingly exchanged our now-deceased choice for a light blue bird, and when she got home, she told her three- and five-year-olds that the parakeet had simply taken a bath. We must have accepted it right away, because I can’t ever remember a time when our parakeet was yellow and green.” —Madeline Bilis, Boston, Massachusetts

“I was a pre-schooler when my pet turtle died. Mom had been sick and the turtle was neglected. When mom was better, she told me the turtle was hibernating. I was unaware she replaced the turtle, but one day she had me come to see how my turtle had resumed an active life. She told me the truth when I was an adult in my 40s. Not only had the turtle been replaced once, but many times.” —Janet, Ontario, Canada

“When I was three years old I was told the family dog, Inky, died because he fell in the soap bubbles.” —Joe Milici, Mount Joy, Pennsylvania

“My pet chickens and rabbits had gone ‘to the farm’ when in fact my former farmer Dad had turned them into dinner.” — Pat, Arlington Heights, Illinois

Kissing Elbows

“She told us that if you kissed your elbow you would turn into a boy.” —Tara Bryan, Flatrock, Newfoundland

“Because of something my younger sister got to do that I was not allowed to do I told my mother I wanted to be a girl. So she told me if I could kiss the tip of my elbow I would turn into a girl.” —Mark Moore, Knoxville, Tennessee

“If you kiss your elbow, you’ll turn into a princess.” —Peggy Sanchez, St. Paul, Minnesota

“That if I could put my elbow in my ear, I would turn into a boy. I thought that changing sexes could be a super power disguise, so I spent hours trying.” —Jill, Seattle, Washington

“I hated fish so my mom told me tuna wasn’t fish, it was ‘the chicken of the sea.’ I actually believed that for a while!” —Estelle, Québec Photo Illustration: Aïda Amer; Fish and Chicken: Public Domain

Animals

“If a snapping turtle bit you, it would not let loose until it heard thunder.” —J. Bonamour, Louisiana

“For as long as I can remember when we would drive to Rhode Island, she would tell me that the forest rangers used giraffes to prune the trees. I would always be looking in just the wrong direction and miss seeing one as we went by.” —Edward P. Steele, Connecticut

“If you continue to stare into a mirror, a monkey will pop out.” —Joan Henehan, Los Angeles, California

“If you whistle at night, snakes will hear it and come into your bed.” —Vito Delsante, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

“My mother told me the winter sand barrels at the sides of steep parts of mountain highways were for the convenience of traveling cats. I was mad and sad for the cats.” —Thomas Tigaboj, Denver, Colorado

Dragonflies

“I was told that dragonflies will sew your eyelids shut if you were not careful.” — Joe Becker, San Francisco, California

“Playing with my belly button would make my butt fall off. And dragonflies (called darning needles then) would sew the lips together of children who misbehaved.” — Michael Hewins, Washington D.C.

“Dragonflies would sew my mouth shut.” —Meredith Roy, New Jersey

“My mother used to tell us not to eat paper, crayons, or glue, because if we did, it would give us worms, and then worms would grow in our bellies.” —Amanda, Oregon Photo Illustraion: Aïda Amer; Glue: Apfenn1/CC BY-SA 4.0, Worm (all): Brian Gratwicke/Katja Schulz/CC BY 2.0

Worms

“Eating chocolate chip cookie dough would give you worms.” —John, Assonet, Massachusetts

“The bubbles in the icicles hanging from the roof were worm eggs.” —Pete Haerden, Carver, Minnesota

“My mother used to tell us not to eat paper, crayons, or glue, because if we did, it would give us worms, and then worms would grow in our bellies. That was enough to deter me from ever eating any of that stuff.” —Amanda Stanley, Oregon

“If you eat raw cookie dough you’ll get worms.” —Gwen Demombynes, Seattle, Washington

What Happened to the Other Kids

“Sometimes when our house settled it would make little creaking noises that seemed to come from under our home, only accessible by a hatch into the crawl space. When my brother and I asked her what was making the noises under the house she told us that’s where our misbehaving siblings lived and if we didn’t behave that’s where he and I would end up.” — Jen, California

“There was a gravel factory near the town where we lived and my mother told us it was ‘Kids Jail’ and that if we were naughty we would have to go there and bust rocks all day and only eat bread and water. Every time we drove past that place my sisters and I would be absolutely silent in the car so she wouldn’t have a reason to drop us off at the kids jail.” —Whittney Bishop, Phnom Penh, Cambodia

“She told me that the grease spots in the street in front of our house were stains that were left from children being hit by cars who had ventured out into the street.” —Jerrilee, Poseyville, Indiana

“My mom told me that the gum spots on the sidewalk were actually blood from the kids who didn’t look before crossing the road.” —Ava Moody, Fort Worth, Texas

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