WALNUT CREEK — When they prepared for marriage a decade ago, Cheryl Dumesnil and Tracie Vickers contemplated living in San Francisco, where other gay and lesbian families would surround them, or venturing back to the suburbs where they grew up.

Their choice of central Contra Costa County made them pioneers, the first two-mom family in their leafy Walnut Creek neighborhood.

“This is Tracie’s suburban dream,” Dumesnil said inside their ranch house Tuesday, as the couple’s 6-year-old son, Brennan, quietly read a book and 4-year-old Kian marched through the kitchen, a singing troubadour strumming a white guitar. Neighbors have welcomed this family with cookies and open arms.

“So after saying I would never move back to the suburbs, here I am,” Dumesnil said.

The family of four is among nearly 1 percent of California households — about 126,000 homes — headed by same-sex couples, according to statistics from the 2010 census being released Thursday. The numbers, if they are accurate, show nearly a quarter of California’s same-sex couples are raising children.

While San Francisco remains a gay hub — the city has more than 10,000 gay and lesbian couples, compared to fewer than 300 in Walnut Creek — the census found same-sex couples in every corner of the state, and revealed that those who live in many suburban and rural areas are far more likely to have kids.

“We’re not just some special interest group concentrated in major urban centers,” Dumesnil said. “We’re actually everywhere, and just trying to live a legally protected and fulfilling life.”

Fifteen years after the federal Defense of Marriage Act banned gay marriage and seven years after San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom defiantly ordered that licenses be granted to same-sex couples, gay and lesbian families remain in the political cross hairs but also say that society is increasingly adjusting to having them — and their children — around. In turn, whether or not they were counted before, more same-sex couples are conscious about identifying themselves on census forms.

Demographers caution that the numbers may overcount same-sex couples because of opposite-sex couples who miscoded themselves on a confusing form. The errors are amplified because there are far more opposite-sex couples than same-sex couples.

Gay and lesbian couples are identified in the census when the head of a household reports living with a “husband/wife” or an “unmarried partner” of the same sex. Changes in the way the Census Bureau counts same-sex couples make it hard to accurately compare to the 2000 census, when the tally found more than 92,000 same-sex couples in California.
It is clear, however, that the number of openly same-sex couples statewide has grown substantially in the last decade.

“We do have evidence that over time, increasing numbers of people are willing to report (same-sex partnerships),” said demographer Gary Gates of UCLA’s Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law. “We’ve seen those increases being the largest outside the known gay areas. I’d expect you’d see those increases larger in the Central Valley than in San Francisco.”

Same-sex couples in the suburbs and rural areas also are far more likely than their urban counterparts to be raising children. National studies show that about 19 percent of the children of same-sex couples are adopted, Gates said. Many more are children from previous heterosexual relationships.

“That kind of pattern is much more common in conservative areas where people come out later in life,” Gates said. “The further you get away from San Francisco, the larger proportion of same-sex couples are raising kids.”

For some same-sex couples, living in the outer regions of the Bay Area still seems like being on a cultural frontier.

The census counted 138 gay male couples in Antioch last year, and found that 30 percent of them have kids. However, partners Joe Horacek and Jonathan Lee know just one other family like them living on the other side of town.

The family moved to Antioch from South San Francisco in 2004 because they wanted a bigger, more affordable house to raise their three adopted children. Horacek and Lee were among about 18,000 same-sex couples who married during six months in 2008 when gay marriage was legal in the state before voters passed Proposition 8. Living in Antioch was easier when the kids were young; their oldest children, 14 and 13, are now struggling to fit in to a community where two dads are a rarity.

“My son has encountered some negative reactions from kids on Facebook,” said Horacek, a local teacher. “We don’t want to be the ones who put the targets on their back. All kids get picked on for something, but usually it has to do with them. We’re adding this extra liability for them fitting in.”

Hosts who greet the family of five at local restaurants sometimes mistake them for two separate parties. Since their 9-year-old daughter has no mom, a principal recently asked if she could play the role for a Mother’s Day tea. Usually, a polite conversation smooths an adult’s confusion, but the couple sometimes wonders if life would be easier for their kids on the other side of the East Bay hills.

“For the most part, no one has questioned us or given us any problems, but there are more assumptions out here that the kids have both a mom and a dad,” Horacek said. “I know that in places like Berkeley and Alameda County, in particular, conversations about different kinds of families and same-sex relationships are part of the school curriculum. Out here, it’s not necessarily the case.”

Three percent of San Francisco households and slightly more than 2 percent of Oakland, Berkeley, and Emeryville households are headed by same-sex couples, making these the Bay Area cities with the highest concentration of gay and lesbian partners. Other East Bay cities run close behind, and most of the neighborhoods outside San Francisco with the highest number of same-sex couples, according to the census, stretch along the foothills of East Oakland.

East Bay same-sex couples also are more likely to have kids than their San Francisco counterparts, though the same is also true for straight couples. A little more than 4 percent of San Francisco’s gay male couples and 19 percent of its lesbian couples have kids, compared to 11 percent of gay male couples and 22 percent of lesbian couples in Oakland.

Maya Scott-Chung and her multiracial family also chose the East Bay because she found it more diverse.

“It wasn’t just because we could afford to buy a house here, though that was a part of it,” said Scott-Chung, who lives with her transgender partner and their daughter in Oakland’s San Antonio district. “It matters to us to live in Oakland because it’s one of the most culturally, linguistically and economically diverse places in the Bay Area and probably in the world. There’s a huge number of lesbian and two-mom families here.”

Statewide, lesbian partners are also more likely than gay males to be raising children — 32 percent of lesbian households have kids, compared to 17.8 percent of gay male couples. Horacek said that being a minority among minorities in a place like Antioch can be exciting and a little frightening.

“Obviously gay people have been in relationships for centuries, but this seems to be the first generation where it’s happening in numbers, especially adding kids to the family,” he said. “We sometimes feel like we’re soldiers on the front line. Change is afoot, but still, it’s not mainstream here.”

Dumesnil said she and her wife have witnessed perceptions slowly change in Walnut Creek as they interact with straight families at school functions and in their neighborhood.

“Somebody’s got to be out here,” she said. “In a way, having the kids was the great equalizer.”

Bay Area Cities with
the highest percentage
of same-sex couples

Guerneville: 7.6 percent of all households headed by same-sex couples (176 same-sex couples)
San Francisco: 3 percent (10,384)
Oakland: 2.2 percent (3,442)
Emeryville: 2.1 percent (119)
Berkeley: 2.1 percent (961)
El Cerrito: 1.9 percent (189)
Pacifica: 1.7 percent (237)
Albany: 1.7 percent (123)
Alameda: 1.5 percent (459)
San Rafael: 1.3 percent (301)
Vallejo: 1.2 percent (497)
Santa Rosa: 1.2 percent (757)
Richmond: 1.2 percent (427)
Concord: 1.2 percent (512)
Pleasant Hill: 1.1 percent (152)
San Leandro: 1.1 percent (326)

statewide figures on households

49%
Households headed by
husband-wife married couples

6.2%
Households headed by opposite-sex unmarried partners
1%
Households headed by
same-sex partners

43.4%
Resident doesn’t live with
a spouse or unmarried partner

The post Census statistics present quarter of California same-sex {couples} elevating children – East Bay Occasions appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

HERE’S one for the annals of homeowner negligence: as of last month, my chimney had gone eight full years without being inspected, much less cleaned. For all I knew, a few generations of squirrels had summered in my bricks before fleeing at the first scent of smoke.

In those years we had probably burned 50 fires, but none since March 2011. But with Hurricane Sandy approaching, I knew I would likely need the fireplace for light, heat and maybe some cooking duties. Could I start it up once more without burning the house?

To answer that question and others, I called on Ashley Eldridge, the director of education for the Chimney Safety Institute of America, and John Gulland, writer and manager of WoodHeat.org, a site devoted to wood-heat systems.

With a few kernels of knowledge and a handful of low-cost items from the hardware store, homeowners can keep a chimney healthy between cleanings and keep the home’s heating system in good repair, they said. My experts also suggested a cheap way to make a great backyard fire pit, but more on that later.

My most pressing concern was whether I could light the first fire of the season without fear. I had ignored stories about chimney safety because my chimney looked fine from the outside, and it wasn’t belching smoke into our living room. People who live in similar ignorance are taking a risk.

Creosote can build up in a flue if you burn enough smoky fires, which come from wet wood, or fires that smolder before catching. This tarlike substance can catch fire with an inferno so intense that flammable materials abutting the chimney can also ignite.

“It just goes nuts in that chimney,” Mr. Gulland said. “All the heat produces a strong draft, so it sounds like a jet engine or a railroad train. It’s terrifying.”

The likelihood of a house fire depends on how closely your home’s builder adhered to safety codes. Some second-story floor beams, for instance, are anchored in the chimney. If they were placed without careful regard for building codes, they could encroach too closely on the flue and ignite in a creosote fire.

A good chimney sweep, Mr. Gulland said, “will have a radar for screw-ups like that, because there’ll be hints.” And keeping the flue clean, he added, minimizes the risk that such factors will come into play.

Mr. Eldridge suggested having a chimney inspected annually by a sweep who carries a certification from his organization, in that way ensuring the sweep meets training, educational and ethical standards. The CSIA.org site includes a searchable index of such sweeps, but none was available in my area.

Like most people, I’ve heard horror stories about swindles where a low-cost chimney sweep with a high-pressure sales pitch will identify costly phantom problems in places you can’t see.

To find a trustworthy sweep, Mr. Gulland suggested asking friends and avoiding low bidders. “You want someone who’s around 45 with a good-looking truck that’s not a rust bucket, the truck of a guy who’s proud of himself,” he said. “When you get a good sweep, you can pretty much tell immediately.”

I had five days before Sandy arrived, and a very low likelihood of finding a sweep before then. I needed to do an inspection on my own, but I had no idea what to look for. Mr. Gulland and Mr. Eldridge suggested getting a pair of safety glasses, a mirror and a strong flashlight, and starting at the bottom.

And that doesn’t mean the fireplace.

A chimney often has two flues, one for the fireplace and one that reaches to the basement, where, in homes heated with water, it connects to the boiler’s exhaust pipe. Multi-flue chimneys commonly terminate in a chamber that catches soot from a “cleanout” passage at the bottom of the fireplace. That soot can build up so much that it interferes with the boiler’s airflow. A little doorway, commonly found on the chimney and below the exhaust pipe, is there for removing soot.

I extracted at least 20 pounds of the stuff, and noticed gaps in the mortar connecting the exhaust pipe to the chimney. I tried not to think about the fumes that were escaping into my basement.

Next, I checked the fireplace itself. I slipped on goggles, opened the damper and, for the first time, checked the flue.

It wasn’t so bad. I scraped the surface with a poker, which revealed less than a half-inch of soot. I ran my finger across it and found a soft, sooty form of creosote rather than the more dangerous tarry variety.

My next bit of do-it-yourself maintenance was clearly not meant for the masses. I got up onto my second-story rooftop with roofing cement and silicone caulking seal. Mr. Gulland suggested sealing any gaps between the metal flashing and the chimney so water did not creep into the seams between the chimney and the house.

I also saw that my chimney cap had been installed with wire mesh, to keep critters out. Lovely. I’ve been looking at the mesh for 12 years and never really registered its existence.

Mr. Gulland and Mr. Eldridge both strongly recommend chimney caps, to keep animals, foliage and rainwater out. I removed the cap and found the boiler flue clear, and the fireplace flue looking the same as it did from the firebox.

Before I lit a fire, I bought a creosote sweeping log ($20), which my local hardware store manager recommended as a way to reduce creosote. I didn’t notice much of a difference in the soot after burning it, but I felt marginally safer, and Mr. Eldridge said it would make the chimney easier to clean, should I ever find a sweep. (Mr. Gulland was more dubious of the value of such products.) Two of my Facebook friends recommended Nutmegger Chimney Service, as did my hardware store manager. After Mike Przygocki, Nutmegger’s owner, and I traded voice mail, he rolled into my driveway with a polished truck and stepped out, looking to be about 45 and as trustworthy as anyone I had ever met.

Mr. Przygocki, who said he had been sweeping and repairing chimneys since 1983, then inspected the chimney from the same points as I did. The soot wasn’t dangerous, he said, and the chimney’s workmanship appeared to be adequate. (Among other things, the huge grout seams at the top of the structure would likely crack over time.)

But he couldn’t vouch for the chimney’s health (specifically, the terra cotta flue tiles) without sweeping it. This took roughly 40 minutes, and involved Mr. Przygocki’s setting up an expansive drop cloth and a vacuum that, remarkably, kept the soot from entering our house. When it was done, he declared it good to go.

“I’ve seen much worse, but it’s not great,” he said of my circa-1970 chimney. “A lot of developments from around this era were done this way, with old bricks and this kind of masonry work. It’s good for my business.”

Given my fairly infrequent use of the fireplace, he said, I should be O.K. waiting two years for an inspection. And when I showed him the inflatable damper pillow ($57, from Battic Door) to prevent drafts, he declared it “not a bad idea.”

My last order of business was building a fire pit, because my family had been requesting one for years. I assumed it was an arduous and expensive job. It was neither. (New York City residents, take note: fire pits violate the fire code.)

Mr. Gulland said the most common mistake with fire pits is that people make them too big. “Make it tiny,” he said. “A proper campfire, which is really what you’re building, is only 18 to 24 inches in diameter, and it’s just as pretty and less intimidating if it’s small and bright.”

I spent around $35 on 27 bricks from Lowe’s and a $17 grate from Home Depot, and assembled the pit in 20 minutes. My family was thrilled.

When Hurricane Sandy knocked out our electricity, the fireplace provided much-needed warmth, light and hot pasta. The fire pit will get its turn soon enough. And the trees sprawled across our property should keep both busy for a few seasons at least.

A Few Tips on Building a Better Fire

A BLAZING fire can be good for the soul but bad for the lungs, at least if you do it wrong.

“Many of the same components that are in cigarette smoke are in wood smoke,” said Nancy Alderman, president of Environment & Human Health, a public-health organization.

To avoid breathing those toxins, it helps to perfect the art of the low-smoke fire. For this, you need the right wood, a new approach to fire building and, perhaps, some insulation.

Hardwoods, like maple, oak and apple, are less likely to produce smoke than soft woods, like pine or cedar.

But hardwood will smoke if it’s not cured for at least six months before burning, said John Gulland, writer and manager of WoodHeat.org. “Low moisture content and correct piece size are more important than species,” he said.

Prevent backdrafts by clogging drafts elsewhere. Ashley Eldridge, the director of education for the Chimney Safety Institute of America, said if your attic door isn’t properly sealed and insulated, it can draw air from everywhere else, including your fireplace.

Also, burn hot fires. Because the traditional kindling-at-the-bottom approach typically leads to smoldering, Mr. Gulland suggested a top-down fire design, with heavier pieces at the bottom and kindling at the top. This gives kindling more air to burn, and helps produce a hot fire more quickly, and with less smoke.

The post Smoking Out Chimney Issues – The New York Instances appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

Black Friday

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Caltrans has scheduled a full day closure of the San Francisco Bay Trail near Cordilleras Creek Bridge in Redwood City starting at 7 a.m. on Monday.

The one-day bike path closure will allow our contractors to do work pertaining to the Cordilleras Creek Bridge Replacement Project.

The Bay Trail Bike Path closure will be in place starting at the entrance of Blair Island Road and ending at entrance of Twin Dolphins Drive in San Carlos, during the hours of 7 a.m. to 4 p.m.

For 24/7 traffic updates, visit 511.org: https://twitter.com/511SFBay.

For real-time traffic, visit Caltrans QuickMap at http://quickmap.dot.ca.gov/

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The post Full day closure coming for San Francisco Bay Path in Redwood Metropolis – Instances Herald On-line appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

By Ann Rostow–

What’s in a Name?

To what extent may a school require faculty and staff to use preferred names and pronouns for transgender students? Some might attack such a regulation based on “free speech,” but schools may police speech in many contexts, including antigay speech, racism, Nazi propaganda, and hate speech in general. When transgender kids are being denied access to bathrooms and healthcare itself, this feels like a lesser violation of rights, particularly if a school allows the anti-trans teacher to use surnames instead of first names. But if allowed to persist and expand, it infects the entire school community.

The practice of misnaming students veers into hate speech when it’s used to denigrate, insult, and single out trans kids for hostility from a person in power. That cannot be allowed in a healthy school system and that’s what the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit found earlier this year in the case of a “Christian” music teacher out of Indiana. The teacher, John Kluge, was fired in 2018 after his anti-trans behavior drew complaints and stigmatized the few transgender students in his classes. He sued on religious freedom grounds and lost both at the lower court and the appellate court levels. 

Subsequently last June, the unanimous Supreme Court ruled that under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, an employer must demonstrate a “substantial” hardship if they must violate the religious freedom of a staff member. The case, a Christian postal worker who refused to work on Sundays, was more or less your typical religious freedom case, and the standard of substantial hardship was only one step up from the unmodified “undue hardship” that previously governed the courts. After this ruling (in Groff v. DeJoy), the Seventh Circuit vacated its ruling in favor of the Indiana school, and sent John Kluge’s case back to lower court for a review that takes the latest High Court decision into account. Kluge has just asked the lower court for a summary judgment.

I hadn’t realized that Kluge was back in action until his latest court filing, but it’s disturbing to see the ripple effects of this High Court’s conservative jurisprudence, even in this instance where the Court ruled 9–0. I can’t help but feel that our side of the Court is picking its battles in the ongoing war over so-called “religious freedom,” deciding here perhaps that Mr. Groff’s desire to save Sunday for services was basically not a big deal and the post office should have accommodated his faith. Fine, okay. But will that mean that the federal court in Indiana and the Seventh Circuit will be obliged to give the green light to Kluge and his mean-spirited “religious” impulses? 

We all understand that devout Christians might want to spend Sundays doing some religious things, just as Jews won’t want to work on Friday night or Saturday and what have you. But since when does someone’s faith mandate public animosity and disrespect towards a group of people that they don’t like or understand? Surely it would be a substantial hardship for a school to tolerate such a person in a position of authority. I hope so at least.  

High Court Agenda Undetermined for Now

In other legal news, the ACLU has taken the plunge and asked the Supreme Court to decide whether a state may ban medical care for transgender youth, appealing a Tennessee law that was upheld by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit. At the same time, the Sixth Circuit upheld a similar ban out of Kentucky, where activists also reportedly plan to petition the High Court.

We figured this issue would arrive at the Court’s doorstep sooner rather than later, as might the question of whether states can forbid transgender girls from playing on public school sports teams. It wasn’t necessarily clear that our side would be the first to petition the Court, but the Tennessee law may be one of the more vulnerable of the 21 such statutes enacted around the country. 

According to the ACLU of Tennessee, the law limits its ban to kids diagnosed with gender dysphoria, a “targeted restriction” that “discriminates based on both sex and the fact that a person is transgender and violates the Equal Protection Clause.” Tennessee also tramples on the rights of the parents of transgender minors, who are stripped of their ability to make medical decisions for their children despite clear constitutional ground rules.

I really should check but I think there are several GLBT-related petitions hanging around the Court at this point. For example, I know one of our foes filed an appeal on a state ban on conversion therapy, arguing that restricting a professional’s right to pursue this damaging practice was tantamount to a block on free speech. I think there are some others but, like Billie Eilish, I’m gay and tired so I’ll move on. (The singer posted a selfie with those words written on her cheek on X or Insta or somewhere the other day, much to everyone’s excitement. Whatever. She seems nice.) At any rate, the Court decides whether or not to take cases during the weekly or biweekly conferences, and they often make us wait around months for a thumbs up or thumbs down.

Holiday Time

I’m actually a little behind today, because a) our coffee pot died and I had to wait for my wife to come home with takeout coffee, and b) I was doing some research and discovered you can apply to earn $2,500 for watching 25 holiday movies in 25 days. I stopped everything to fill out the forms and will be eagerly waiting to see if I’m chosen. I always watch two or three every year. What’s another 22 or 23? 

There’s usually a new one from Netflix about the prince and the princess in the tiny Alpine country with the disabled sister and the friendly king and queen. I think they’ve had a baby by now, and I’m not sure, but maybe the king died and the prince is king? Must check this! 

There are also gay holiday pictures, and it feels as if there are more every season. Last year we had the one where the guy and his “best friend” go back to his home town, realize they were meant to be together and abandon LA to open a flower shop in the little town. Really, guys? That only happened at the end, because our guy was dating the cute hottie handyman or something during most of the movie. And when I say “dating,” I mean they went for coffee, bought a Christmas tree, and went to the kids’ Christmas pageant. No wonder that relationship went nowhere. 

Anyway, I’ll let you know if I make the cut.

Shameful Lusts

Speaking of holiday things, One Million Moms is up in arms over the lineup for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, the yawn fest that takes over the airwaves for interminable hours every Thanksgiving Day. We were always “allowed” to watch the tedious procession when I was a kid as if this was a big treat. Thanks for nothing, parents. 

Anyway, this year’s parade includes some performers from two Broadway shows, Shucked and & Juliet, both of which feature non-binary actors (and neither of which I’ve ever heard of). Some 17,000 people signed a petition from the Moms condemning the “liberal nonsense” as the Moms put it. “Shame on Macy’s for promoting and sponsoring this type of entertainment,” they tsked. “It is clear that Macy’s does not have our children’s best interests in mind. Macy’s needs to know that trust must be earned, and once trust is lost, it is difficult to get back.” 

In other Million Mom complaints, we hear that Vitaminwater is using Lil Nas X as a spokesperson, “pushing an agenda of sexual confusion instead of promoting its product.” The ads, Moms say, attempt “to blur the biological distinctions between males and females. Thanks, Vitaminwater. Now, parents have to explain these disturbing ads to their confused children!”

Who are these children the Moms continually write about? Poor creatures; they are disturbed, perplexed, and shaken to the core by routine TV commercials and innocuous cartoon characters. Could that fragility possibly be the fault of, um, the Moms? Nah. It’s us and our insidious propaganda.

“These gay-inclusive commercials are attempting to desensitize and brainwash viewers by convincing them that homosexuality is natural,” the Moms say. “In reality, it is an unnatural love that is forbidden by Scripture. Romans 1:26-27 makes this very clear.”

I just looked that one up: “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.” Spicy!

And the Land We Belong to Is Grand!

Let’s see what else. Have you heard that Kellyanne Conway’s rebellious daughter, Claudia, is gay? I didn’t know that. I vaguely remember this girl posting some family spats on Instagram, much to her mother’s chagrin. But lately, Kellyanne was given the “Spirit of Lincoln” award by the ridiculous Log Cabin (gay) Republicans based on her supposedly tolerant embrace of Claudia’s sexual orientation. “I don’t care if you’re with a girl or Mickey Mouse, as long as you get your ass up for school,” Kellyanne reportedly told her daughter. Get that woman a PFLAG membership card!

In other mildly pro-GLBT news, our friend the Pope has fired a virulently anti-gay bishop, Texas-based Joseph Strickland, a man who refused to resign on his own. I guess he did this after an “apostolic visitation” last summer, whatever that is, when it seems Bishop Strickland did not impress. The dismissal was announced November 4.

And while we’re in Texas, a school principal in Sherman along with some conservative administrators generated some negative national news headlines when they delayed the school production of Oklahoma! because a trans boy was cast in one of the male roles as were a few girls (since there were not enough boys in the drama group). According to their new policy, all actors would be required to play characters that matched their genders at birth, a theatrical dictate that would have come as a shock to Shakespeare companies and many other stage producers. 

The group also decided that the musical would be replaced by a shorter kids’ version, designed for younger audiences, telling the press in a statement that the regular show “contained mature adult themes, profane language, and sexual content.” That’s not the Oklahoma! that I remember, but who the hell knows what these people see when they look at the world around them. 

The fiasco was rectified after a unanimous vote by the full school board, which restored the original cast and production at a public meeting November 13. Dozens of people showed up at the meeting to protest the censorship, and Board President Brad Morgan apologized to the school community for the entire brouhaha. 

“We want to apologize to our students, parents and our community regarding the circumstances that they have had to go through,” Morgan wrote. “We do embrace all of our Board goals, to include addressing the diverse needs of our students and empowering them for success in a diverse and complex world.”

The Bell Tolls

Finally, there was a sad story out of Smiths Station, Alabama, where the small-town mayor killed himself after a local paper published photos of him dressed in women’s lingerie and quoted some erotic fiction he had written. F.L. “Bubba” Copeland, who had been mayor for seven years, apologized on a church website where he served as a pastor, and friends say he was profoundly upset by the exposure. 

A couple of days after the news report, sheriff’s deputies conducting a wellness check followed his car down the road, but could not prevent Copeland from shooting himself. By all accounts, he was a hard-working mayor and a nice guy; a father of three in a happy marriage. 

The news outlet, 1819 News, was a rightwing offshoot of Breitbart, but our own news outlets are often the ones to take hypocrites to account. This time, however, there was no evidence that Copeland was ever anti-GLBT, and his story gives me pause as I look back on the many times I gleefully reported on the secret lives of various hapless men with wives and families. I don’t promise never to do so again, but I may think twice.

arostow@aol.com

GLBT Fortnight in Review
Published on November 16, 2023

The post Ann Rostow: What’s in a Title? – San Francisco Bay Instances appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

Woman Who Moved To Singapore Says San Francisco No Longer Feels Safe In 2023

Safety has always been among the biggest pulls for people overseas to come to Singapore, and that was the case for one woman from California.

She moved from her hometown, Cupertino City, to San Francisco to complete her studies. But, over time, she realised it was not the most ideal place for her, so she moved to Singapore six months ago.

Heather, aka @unicornheatt, shared in TikTok video that the security of the Lion City was what prompted her to stay.

Her decision is in light of several incidents she experienced back in the Californian city.

Car was burgled multiple times

She started her clip by saying that she never expected she would leave San Francisco.

Originally from Cupertino, California, she went to San Francisco in 2013 for her undergraduate studies in Architecture.

“The dream was always to go to San Francisco ’cause it’s the best city in the world — or so I thought,” she said.

According to the woman, the city has been on the decline since the introduction of Proposition 47 in 2014. It is a law that reclassified stealing from a felony to a misdemeanour.

The woman explained that this new law allowed people who steal to feel like there are no consequences to their actions. She also added that there is a general feeling of “lawlessness” there.

As such, her biggest reason for leaving is the safety concerns she had. Unfortunately, she experienced “smash-and-grabs” first-hand several times back in San Francisco.

She shared that someone had smashed her car windows and stole from the vehicle within six months of getting a car in 2021.

“That happened to me three times in my first year of owning a car.”

Safer to walk around as a girl in Singapore compared to San Francisco

Secondly, she felt safer walking around as a girl in Singapore.

To support this, she recounted an experience she had while going for a dental appointment in San Francisco.

As it was the middle of the work day, she thought it would be “perfectly safe”.

“I was assaulted, midday, on my way back from my dental appointment,” the woman disclosed.

“[I was] so shocked that someone was shaking me vigorously, I didn’t say anything. There were people around me, [but] no one said anything. It just kind of shook me to the core,” she recounted.

Saw a man running around with a gun in San Francisco a week before moving to Singapore

Finally, the woman brought up the prevalence of gun violence in San Francisco as another aspect of her safety concerns there.

Illustrating her point, she told the story of how she saw a man running around openly with a gun while she was walking her dog, a week before moving to Singapore.

The man was supposedly carrying other unknown items when he ran within three metres of her and her pet.

“And in that moment, I saw my life flash before my eyes.”

General feeling of unease & lack of security prompted her to leave

She then claims that many in San Francisco advise girls to carry a taser or pepper spray for self-defence, but it would not help someone who freezes in dangerous situations.

“Wow, how useless would that be to carry a pepper spray? Like, what am I going to do? He shoots me, and what, I spray some pepper spray?” she questioned.

This added to her feeling of helplessness in San Francisco, she said.

There were also cases of pet theft that put her on edge every time she was out with her dog.

“So there’s just this general feeling of unease and lack of security [in San Francisco] that I can’t be grateful enough to be in Singapore.”

Ready for a new start

Heather told MS News that she’s married to a Singaporean husband, and they decided to move back to Singapore as she couldn’t imagine staying in the US and having a family there.

In a second video, she shared more about her husband’s work visa circumstances, which also prompted the move. “I was honestly ready to get out of the US. I thought it would be fun to have a completely new start and try something new,” she related.

Looking at the future, she said Singapore is a great place for its safety, educational opportunities, and convenience.

Singapore’s proximity to other overseas holiday destinations is a plus as well.

Also Read: Japanese YouTuber Lists 15 Reasons Why He Appreciates S’pore, Such As Cincai-ness & Safety

Have news you must share? Get in touch with us via email at news@mustsharenews.com.

Featured image adapted from TikTok.

The post Lady Appreciates S’pore’s Security After Shifting Right here, Was Burgled A Few Instances In San Francisco appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

By The Castro Street Fair Board of Directors–

The 49th Annual Castro Street Fair is approaching, and we are looking forward to celebrating the city’s most unique and colorful neighborhood with thousands of friends and family. On Sunday, October 1, the streets will fill with smiling faces, music, tasty foods, beverages, and all of you.

Fred Lopez,
Vice President

2023 holds some exciting changes for the Fair—to begin with, the footprint will once again include 18th Street between Diamond and Noe. A new stage, the Collingwood Stage (Co-Presented by T4T), will be showcasing great local talent at 18th and Collingwood. The Fair will also feature luminaries such as Juanita MORE!, so this year’s live entertainment promises to be incredible.

Redge Roberts,
Secretary

We are also pleased to be collaborating with Art Mart, which has been a welcome presence in the Castro for over two years, to present ArtyHood on 18th Street between Hartford and Noe. Please check it out and see the wonderful work of local artisans and performers. At the intersection of Castro and Market, the Castro Stage will be pumping out danceable beats all day long. And the Fair is always pleased to welcome our friends from CHEER SF (at 18th and Castro) and Sundance Saloon (behind the Castro Theatre) to entertain our crowds. There is always something to see and do at the Castro Street Fair!

Please visit one of the Fair’s Beverage Booths this year. For those of us who partake, the booths will be offering adult beverages for purchase. Many of the beverage booths will be staffed by community groups, so the beverages you purchase from the Fair will help raise important funds for our community group partners.

Board of Directors members of the Castro Street Fair were on site at the Castro and Market intersection enjoying the Fair in Left to Right: Jenn Meyer, Che Heron, Redge Roberts, Jay Bordon, George Ridgely and his dog Folsom, Fred Lopez. Not pictured: Hugo Beata, George Lee

About the Fair

As the owner of Castro Camera at 575 Castro Street, Harvey Milk was faced with many hostilities as a gay business owner. In 1974, Harvey began the Castro Street Fair in order to promote gay-owned businesses and to celebrate the vitality of the Castro neighborhood. Each year, we continue his legacy on the first weekend in October, by gathering in the heart of the Castro to celebrate our diversity and support our community.  

If you were not aware, the Fair is a fundraising machine that supports local beneficiary nonprofits. Our beneficiary partners are vital to the Fair. We couldn’t make the Fair a reality without the volunteer support that the beneficiaries provide so thank you, beneficiaries! The Castro Street Fair is proud to report that over $1.5 Million has been donated back to the community since the late 1990s. In addition, the Fair is pleased that we can help purchase and maintain the world-famous rainbow flag that flies proudly above the intersection of Castro and Market. Many thanks to our partners at Castro Merchants for the rainbow flag project.

Of course, the Fair encourages everyone to support the local shops, restaurants, and nightlife in the neighborhood. One of the main reasons that Harvey Milk started the Castro Street Fair in 1974 was to highlight the offerings of the establishments of the Castro. The Board of Directors work on the Fair in the hopes that attendees will support our local businesses—not only on the weekend of the Street Fair, but also throughout the year. Thank you for your support!

The Board of Directors is a group of dedicated volunteers who work countless hours to bring this annual event to life. Working with neighbors, city agencies, contractors, local merchants, and partner organizations, the Board takes great pride in providing an enjoyable experience for all and raising important funds for our beneficiary nonprofit partners.

The Fair cannot do all that it does without the generous donations from folks like you. As you enter the Fair on Sunday, October 1, you will see volunteers collecting a donation of between $10 and $20. If you do not carry cash, we are able to take donations using a card or your phone, by just tapping on a donation point at our gates. Please, take a moment to donate; it makes such a huge difference!

Many thanks to everyone who helps make the Castro Street Fair a success—our volunteers, our neighbors, our grantors, and all of you! We are already looking forward to our fiftieth anniversary in October 2024, so stay tuned. Have a great Fair Day!

In Community,
The Castro Street Fair Board of Directors

Entertainers performing at the Collingwood Stage located at 18th and Collingwood Streets will include those below and many more.

Castro Street Fair Special
Published on September 21, 2023

The post Welcome to the forty ninth Annual Castro Avenue Honest – San Francisco Bay Occasions appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

By David Landis–

The dictionary definition of the word “anomaly” is “something different, abnormal, peculiar, or not easily classified.” That’s an apt description for the culinary inventiveness on display at Anomaly SF, a new must-visit destination restaurant from young Chef Mike Lanham (an alumnus of Spruce and Commis) and his youthful team in lower Presidio Heights.

PHOTO BY ANDREA BARTLEY

This innovation doesn’t come cheap. While the advertised fixed price is $132/person, by the time you add in a wine pairing, and, of course, a caviar tasting, the bill climbs to about $300/person including tax and tip. But it’s worth it. Anomaly SF may be one of the best new high-end restaurants not just in the Bay Area, but in the country—and is well on its way to earning a coveted Michelin star.

Chef Mike Lanham
PHOTO BY ANDREA BARTLEY

Chef Mike perfected his execution at numerous pop-ups, the most recent of which was at The Mansion on Sutter. The experience starts when you walk in the door. You’re welcomed into the chic, intimate two-room space with a glass of bubbly rosé crémant before you even sit down (now, that’s my kind of restaurant!). The sophisticated surroundings feel more like New York than San Francisco, which is a good thing: modern, contemporary, and inviting. If you sit in the second room, it’s open directly to the kitchen where you can see the camaraderie of kitchen staff, working together like a well-oiled machine. It’s also fun that customers at Anomaly dress up for the special occasion that this kind of night on the town is.

Dining at Anomaly is like participating in a quiet, well-choreographed dance set: everything has its place and time, and courses arrive with artistry and aplomb. Delightfully, the chef delivers and describes every morsel personally. Even though it’s an advertised eleven courses (with a few desserts and some supplements, if you choose), you don’t leave feeling overstuffed since portions are apportioned properly. Plus, unlike some top-notch restaurants in town, the inventive food actually tastes heavenly!

Halibut Supplement
PHOTO BY ANDREA BARTLEY

As you sit, your server brings you a fresh hot towel, with the accompanying jazz playlist adding just the right touch. The first bites, served on blown-glass plates, are a French toast with crème fraiche and Kaluga caviar, which provides a contrasting salty offset to the sweetness of the confection. Following that, the chef serves a palate cleanser of compressed watermelon with curry avocado and sesame seeds. The next course, a signature, is “An egg … sort of,” which translates to a smoked, whipped potato with an egg yolk “jam” and puffed rice. It’s a tantalizing combination that awakens the tastebuds. How to top that? With a Dirty Girl carrot soup spiced by cumin and peanut, capped with lime snow! A smoky, spongy cheese bread is the intermezzo—subtly sparing with the smoke.

Another plus? Unlike some other fancy schmancy restaurants, when you order the wine pairing, they keep the wine flowing—well worth the price. For the next course, the sommelier serves a Yamahai (a wilder, gamier version) sake from the south of Japan, which is both earthy and fermented. The sake accompanies Early Girl tomatoes, which unfortunately weren’t quite in season yet, with basil and tomato essence. A second tomato dish features ripe, fabulous small Sun Gold tomatoes, topped with cypress seed with seaweed, croutons, and sour cream aioli. The dish is a smart one; the surprising clash of tastes complement each other well.

PHOTO BY ANDREA BARTLEY

For the next course, the wine is a Savignin (not Sauvignon) from France—dry and clean, with a hint of butterscotch. This pairs with a delicious corn custard punctuated by tarragon, crème fraiche, buck tamarind, and caviar, and sports a surprising but tasty burnt sugar top! A brut style cider from Normandy adjoins a perfectly-cooked halibut in a champagne, cream, and scallion sauce with compressed celtuce (a kind of celery lettuce).

For the next course, the chef was kind enough to accommodate my eggplant allergy with “not ratatouille,” a bit saltier than usual red pepper and zucchini mousse with morel mushrooms and crispy cabbage, paired with a Bandol Syrah from France. For the next main, the chef served juicy pork ribs with daikon, plum, and pork skin crisps; the accompanying Syrah from Pismo Beach brought out all the natural sweetness. 

Asparagus
PHOTO BY ANDREA BARTLEY

A parade of desserts followed: a mango coconut white chocolate and finger lime concoction that looks like an egg—and tastes divine; a tonga bean custard with black sesame cake topped with raspberry; an olive oil cake in a floating presentation; and finally, fruit gels and chocolates, to boot! A Commandaria sweet dessert wine from Cyprus brought the meal to a grand finale.

One pet peeve: Anomaly SF does something that quite a few restaurants in San Francisco have started doing. I understand why, but I’m not a fan of it. You have to reserve through Tock, and you have to pre-pay the full amount (plus tax and a 20% tip) up front. On top of that, according to Tock, the reservation is “final and non-refundable. You can always transfer your reservation to another person.” Tock, unlike SevenRooms, doesn’t allow Anomaly’s customers to identify allergies on the reservation, and asks then that you also send a separate email to the restaurant—which, in my case, bounced back. I find this whole policy a bit annoying, especially at a high-priced restaurant like Anomaly. What if you wake up with COVID-19 in the morning and need to cancel or want to go another time? Also, does the restaurant really want to encourage people who are sick to attend? I humbly suggest that restaurants use judgment in accommodating those of us diners who don’t take advantage and may have real reasons for cancelling. (And please fix the email/allergy notice situation.)

That aside, Anomaly proves that culinary innovation can still taste great, and that fancy can be glamorous, but doesn’t have to be fussy. Go now, before that Michelin star makes reservations impossible to snag!

PHOTO BY ANDREA BARTLEY

Bits and Bites

I hadn’t been to the Marin French Cheese Company in years, but recently tasted a sampling of their marvelous cheeses (including my favorite, the Golden Gate washed rind triple crème cheese). The company offers sandwiches, salads, wine, beer, cider, and all of the Marin French cheeses. As they say, “the historic creamery is more than just a place to pick up a wheel of cheese. Nestled in between Marin and Sonoma, Marin French Cheese is a destination for cheese lovers and foodies to relax, picnic, and feast on the way up the coast or towards wine country”—or you can just enjoy the grounds for the day and head back to the city easily. Earlier this month, the company joined Robert Ferry Gourmet for a sampling of Marin French Cheese Company’s cheeses, paired with popcorn, nuts, dried fruit, and more.

Erika Hazel, The Bizerkeley Vegan, recently hosted the third annual Bizerkeley Food Festival at Sports Basement Berkeley. The largest vegan food festival in the Bay Area featured more than 75 new and returning vendors from all over the country, with free samples, $5 food offerings, live entertainment, games, prizes, and giveaways. Complimentary swag was available and proceeds from the festival benefited the Herd And Flock Animal Sanctuary. 

Pastry chef Serena Chow Fisher, who along with her husband David Fisher, earned a Michelin star for their now-closed Bernal Heights restaurant, Marlena, has partnered with Hi Neighbor Hospitality Group to launch a new ice cream brand, Jack & Remi. Named after Serena and David’s beloved dogs, the line “will blend playfulness with sophisticated technique.” The imaginative flavors include: sourdough toast & jam, pistachio ice cream with rhubarb jam, shiso mint chip, strawberry szn (with white chocolate), FUVanilla, and 4XChocolate. The ice cream will be available at select Bay Area restaurants. Follow them on Instagram (@scoopjackandremi) and visit their website for where to find these delicious scoops.

The team behind The Snug recently opened Little Shucker—a playful neighborhood spot for fresh oysters and low-ABV beverages. Located in the heart of the Fillmore Street corridor in the Pacific Heights neighborhood, Little Shucker’s all-day menu features “a selection of seafood classics and raw bar offerings with a modern California twist.”

Kendall Jackson Wine Estate & Gardens welcomes back their limited garden dinner series with featured dinners September 9 (Asian fusion featuring Liberty Farms duck); and October 7 (with Chef Kim Alter, spotlighting Snake River Farms).

The Culinary Institute of America at Copia is adding a new late-night destination to the Napa community: The Haven, the Culinary Institute of America’s first cocktail-focused bar across all of its campuses. Using The Grove’s kitchen elevator, guests will arrive at the second-floor entrance, greeted by a retro floor-to-ceiling cocktail-inspired mural to set the tone. The Haven’s balcony is the place to relax in open air and take in the views of the CIA at Copia’s beautiful gardens and Napa skyline. The Haven will be open Fridays and Saturdays from 8 pm until midnight.

San Rafael is getting its first downtown hotel destination with the recently opened AC Hotel® San Rafael by Marriott. Located at 1201 Fifth Avenue on the corner of 5th Avenue and B Street, the hotel features 140 guest rooms, indoor and outdoor meeting space, and several food and beverage outlets, including the city’s first rooftop bar, Above Fifth.

Seattle-based Piroshky Piroshky’s Eastern European bakery is coming to the Bay Area September 12–14. You can pre-order pies by visiting their website.

Laura and Sayat Ozyilmaz, the duo behind beloved pop-up Istanbul Modern, have just opened their first restaurant as chef-owners, Dalida, in the Presidio. The full-service restaurant showcases the hospitality, fresh ingredients, memorable flavors, and rich culture of the Eastern Mediterranean. 

Paseo in Mill Valley is celebrating its 75th anniversary and on Wine Wednesdays, customers can select from the restaurant’s wine cellar for half price specials. The restaurant serves New American cuisine from Chef Sylvain Montassier using seasonal, naturally harvested, and locally sourced ingredients from the area’s best artisans, growers, and producers. Montassier, a French native, has almost 30 years of professional experience that stretches from France and England to San Francisco and Chicago. He graduated from the Culinary School of Saumur and subsequently staged at two and three Michelin star restaurants in Europe.

Local distillery Hotaling and Company (formerly Anchor Distilling), makers of Junipero Gin, is celebrating 30 years this year. Congratulations!

And, Jonathan Vargas and Ramsey Garcia, who run the popular Fable restaurant in the Castro, applied for an on-site beer and wine license for the new Boa’s restaurant in the Outer Richmond at 3951 Balboa Street, which according to the SF Standard, aims to be a new brunch spot.

Anomaly SF: https://anomalysf.com/
Marin French Cheese Company: https://marinfrenchcheese.com/
Bizerkeley Food Festival: https://tinyurl.com/w85xnwue
Jack and Remi ice cream: www.scoopjackandremi.com
Little Shucker: http://www.littleshucker.com/
Kendall Jackson Wine Estate & Gardens: https://www.kj.com/visit
The Culinary Institute of America at Copia: https://www.ciaatcopia.com/
The Haven: https://tinyurl.com/3tsmnjuv
AC Hotel San Rafael by Marriott and Above Fifth: https://tinyurl.com/c4zheks4
Dalida: https://www.dalidasf.com/
Paseo: https://paseobistro.com/
Fable: https://www.fablesf.com/
Hotaling and Company: https://www.hotalingandco.com/

David Landis, aka “The Gay Gourmet,” is a foodie, a freelance writer, and a retired PR maven. Follow him on Instagram @GayGourmetSF or email him at: davidlandissf@gmail.com Or visit him online at: www.gaygourmetsf.com

The Gay Gourmet
Published on September 7, 2023

The post Anomaly SF, The place Culinary Innovation Reigns – San Francisco Bay Occasions appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

Up-and-coming appliance brand has been named a Top 100 Fastest Growing Private Company for 2022

SAN FRANCISCO, Oct. 24, 2022 /PRNewswire-PRWeb/ — Hauslane, the world’s friendliest range hood company, has ranked in San Francisco Business Times’ Top 100 Fastest Growing Private Companies in the Bay Area list. Calvin Ruan (roo-AHN), the co-founder and CEO of Hauslane, was recognized during the Top 100 Award Ceremony in San Francisco, on October 20, where the brand was listed as the 21st fastest growing company in the San Francisco Bay Area for 2022.

“When I founded Hauslane, I envisioned it as more than just an appliance brand,” said Ruan. “I saw it as a leader in the category for providing top-tier education, service and products that empower people to experience the kitchen in a whole new way. To see this dream come to fruition over the last four years and now be recognized alongside some of the Bay Area’s most influential brands is a true honor.”

From its establishment in 2018, Hauslane has modernized the kitchen ventilation industry by offering high quality range hoods at attainable prices. Under Ruan’s leadership, the brand found early success in the digital space with a direct-to-consumer pathway that includes major online retailers such as Amazon, Wayfair, Lowes.com and HomeDepot.com. The brand has recently expanded into the brick-and-mortar space with new opportunities to establish a presence in showrooms across the United States.

Additional Accolades:
In addition to ranking in San Francisco Business Times’ Top 100 list, Hauslane has been recognized by the publication as one of this year’s Largest BIPOC-Owned Businesses in the Bay Area. The brand also earned the following distinctions thus far in 2022:

About the Top 100 Fastest Growing Private Companies in the Bay Area Award:
The San Francisco Business Times’ Top 100 Fastest Growing Private Companies in the Bay Area is one of the most prestigious awards for businesses in the area, recognizing brands that have shown outstanding growth over the last three years.

To learn more about Hauslane’s products, visit Hauslane.com.

About Hauslane:
Launched in 2018, Hauslane is the world’s friendliest range hood company that has been transforming the century-old kitchen ventilation category with an easy, fun and informative purchase process. As one of the most successful and fastest growing new brands in the kitchen appliance industry, Hauslane puts people first by providing top-tier education, customer service and premium range hoods that eliminate grease and fumes from the kitchen. Its innovative and beautiful products enable home chefs to cook their favorite foods with confidence while also enhancing indoor air quality. For more information about Hauslane, call 800-929-0168 or visit Hauslane.com.

Media Contact

Chad Riley, Merlot Marketing, 916-285-9835, [email protected]

SOURCE Hauslane

The post Hauslane Features Recognition by San Francisco Enterprise Occasions for Fast Progress appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

If you’re staying on Lombard, the best place to have breakfast is Mel’s Drive-In diner at Cow Hollow. It’s at the bottom end of the street, the marina end, which itself leads on to San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge, about 3km away. I just know Mel’s is going to be so good that I leave it until my last morning in this impossibly beautiful city.

It does not disappoint.

I swing open the entrance door – all glass and polished chrome – and walk inside. Carlos is there, behind the till. “Hi, and welcome to Mel’s,” he says.

Inside Mel’s Drive-In on Lombard Street in San Francisco. Photograph: Peter Murtagh

I am enveloped immediately in a wonderworld of Americana – stainless steel, chrome and more chrome, and, facing me, right inside the door, a Wurlitzer jukebox, all lit up and banging out period-appropriate music. In front of the bar counter, there’s a row of one-legged bar stools, with the backsides of occupants rippling over the seat edges. All along the counter are little mini-Wurlitzers where patrons can choose their favourite background sounds – Hank Williams, Roy Orbison, Buddy Holly, Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash and, of course, Elvis. (He lives nearby, I believe.)

The bar counter runs front to back down the centre of the restaurant, which faces on to Lombard. Years ago, waiting staff on roller skates used to serve patrons parked in their cars outside. Not any more, sadly. The other wall, inside the restaurant, is covered in big blow-up, black and white photos from the 1940s and 1950s. The men are all heavy overcoats and fedoras; the women have baggy long trousers and wear shades. The scenes mostly show people arriving or leaving places – nightclubs or political gatherings, maybe – or standing by a car with bulbous fenders, oozing cool.

At the back is the kitchen. The hob hood has sunburst polished steel panels. The chefs busy themselves cranking out plates of pancakes and eggs – “Over easy sir? Comin’ up!” – bacon and toast.

Carlos takes my order. “Two eggs over easy,” I say, “bacon, hash browns and coffee.”

“Toast?” he aks. “You want toast?”

“Yes, please,” I reply.

“White or brown?”

“Brown,” I say.

“You got it!

Carlos Alexander Martinez runs my Mel’s and does a smooth job orchestrating the seating and serving. Photograph: Peter Murtagh

The first Mel’s opened on December 23rd, 1947, at 140 South Van Ness, Carlos tells me. The diner featured in American Graffiti, George Lucas’s 1973 film, whose Burger City was actually Mel’s Drive-In. Mel’s is even on the movie’s promotional poster. Competition in the 1970s drove Mel’s out of business, but Steven Weiss, a son of one of the founders, revived it, and there are now eight outlets, in San Francisco, Hollywood and Los Angeles.

Carlos – who is Carlos Alexander Martinez – runs my Mel’s and does a smooth job orchestrating the seating and serving. The place is buzzing with locals and tourists, but on this Wednesday at 9.15am they’re mostly locals, I think.

Just then, Jessica sits down beside me at the bar. That’s Jessica Quinlan, who is 43. “I’m from Missouri,” she says just after ordering the first of what is to become two large glasses of champagne.

“I’m out here for a bunch of concerts,” she says, and we fall – plunge might be a better description – into conversation. I’m so sucked into the riot that is Jessica’s rock’n’roll life that my over-easys and hash browns get cold and I never even get around to trying the toast.

“I’m here for a bunch of concerts,” she explains. “Last Thursday, we” – her and her boyfriend, Ben, who grows weed – “left Columbus, Missouri and went to Billy Idol in Kansas City and then went to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena for the Just Like Heaven festival. Tomorrow we’re gonna see Gary Numan. I dunno if you know him. He sang the song Cars.” I tell her I know the song. “That’s in Petaluma, California. Saturday, we’re at the Cruel World Festival,” which is back at the Rose Bowl. “Wednesday we have The Cure – I can’t wait for that!”

Jessica Quinlan entertains with stories of her rock’n’roll life. Photograph: Peter Murtagh

Jessica used to be a dental assistant and at some stage also had a restaurant and an art gallery.

“But now I’m on disability” – $1,400 a month, she says. “My ex-boyfriend tried to kill me. I had, like, kidney and liver failure and I have vocal-cord damage,” she says, explaining her husky voice.

“Are you going to have breakfast?” I ask.

“Nah, just champagne,” she answers. “I’m gonna take a shower and head to LA.”

She’s staying at the nearby Chelsea Inn, a choice on her part that was preordained by the script.

“You like champagne in the morning?” I ask.

“I do,” she says emphatically. “I like beer too.”

We then have a political conversation. Jessica loathes Trump and all that comes with him and all that he represents about the United States right now and the way he and his supporters are affecting everything.

“They want women pregnant and in the kitchen,” she says. “They don’t want gay people. I live in a country where so many people say, ‘We live in the greatest country.’ I’m sorry. You can pull a duck’s neck as long as you want, but you’re still not gonna have a swan.”

For that phrase alone I will love Jessica forever. She downs what’s left of her second glass and leave for her hotel. I leave to check out of my hostel.

Mel’s? Like I said, best breakfast in San Francisco.

Peter Murtagh is travelling by motorbike from Tierra del Fuego, at the tip of South America, to Alaska, at the top of North America, and writing here regularly. You can also read his blog and follow him on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

The post Greatest breakfast in San Francisco? It needs to be Mel’s Drive-In – The Irish Occasions appeared first on DAILY SAN FRANCISCO BAY NEWS.

In medical settings, it is common for women’s pain to be ignored or dismissed. In other cases, it is not properly treated.

This phenomenon is particularly agonizing for women in some of their most vulnerable moments.

If you have been a gynecological patient, maybe you have felt unprepared for the pain of a procedure like an IUD insertion. Wondered why you were not offered a better option to control your pain before the HSG, a pelvic X-ray in which dye is shot into your uterus. Or been told, in any number of situations, that “you will feel pressure,” or “this will pinch,” or “take Tylenol.”

“To be honest, evidence suggests that Tylenol doesn’t likely work, even Advil doesn’t likely work, in many of those settings,” says Sara Whetstone, an obstetrician and gynecologist at the University of California, San Francisco. “So are we lying when we tell people ‘it’s just a cramp’?”

The pain that women experience in medical settings is common, often preventable and routinely ignored. I explored some of this in “The Retrievals,” a podcast series about recent events at the Yale Fertility Center.

The women I reported on experienced an extreme version of procedure pain. They underwent egg retrievals at a clinic where a nurse was stealing the fentanyl they should have been administered to manage the pain of the surgeries. Their pain control was missing entirely. Some of the women screamed out that they felt everything during their retrievals, in which a long needle is inserted through the vaginal wall and into the ovary.

For months, patient after patient complained about pain, and they say the clinic dismissed their complaints. One reason their complaints did not raise more alarm is that members of the medical staff expected that patients could feel pain with this procedure. Under the drug protocol the clinic had offered for years, some patients felt even severe pain. Pain had been normalized.

Not believing a patient is one way of dismissing pain. Offering inadequate pain control is another way of dismissing pain — another way of saying, this doesn’t matter.

Whetstone told me that she realized early in her career that pain control would be important in building trust with her patients, who include many women of color. Patients often tell her about past procedures in which their pain was not properly treated — and nobody listened to them. It’s a double trauma: pain being considered unworthy of adequate treatment in the first place, and then dismissed.

Why wouldn’t a doctor listen to a patient who complains about procedure pain? Whetstone had a reflective response. “I sometimes wonder if people internalize it as a failing that they as a provider did,” she told me. “That’s how I internalize it. When people have more pain than I want them to, I feel like I haven’t done a good job as the provider. So I wonder if not really engaging allows people to emotionally separate from their failure to control pain.”

Just because pain is acute also doesn’t mean it’s only a short-term problem. It can change health outcomes — alter the course of your life. You might avoid going back to the doctor for birth control. You might not get that endometrial biopsy. Or, like a patient I interviewed and others I have heard from since the series began, you might not go back for another egg retrieval and lose a chance to have a child.

All of the women in “The Retrievals” suffered lasting effects from their inadequately treated and unacknowledged pain. One of the most profound is a loss of trust in the medical system. One patient, Esha, who, for privacy, requested to be identified by only her first name, became pregnant with twins during her fertility treatment. She went into labor eight weeks early, and at the hospital, when it became clear that delivery was imminent, a provider approached Esha to talk about anesthesia.

Up until that moment, Esha had been calm. “The minute he said ‘anesthesia,’” she said, it was “pure panic.” Now the word raised a trauma. Esha looked at her husband and started crying.

For more

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War in Ukraine

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• China embedded malware in networks controlling power grids and communication systems used by the military, U.S. officials said.

• A political action committee supporting Donald Trump requested a $60 million refund, showing the financial pressure from his legal bills.

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Other Big Stories

TALK | FROM THE TIMES MAGAZINE

Alok Vaid-Menon is a gender-nonconforming activist and a prominent voice on issues of gender and sexuality. I spoke to them about new ways to think about transgender debates.

You write, “There is a shocking disconnect between the way the government and the media speak about gender-nonconforming people and the reality of our lives.” Tell me more.

There are no such thing as trans issues. There are issues that nontrans people have with themselves that they’re taking out on trans people. A great example is when they talk about our “agenda.” “The transgender agenda: It’s recruiting people.” My agenda is the ability to exist in public without the fear of being assaulted.

I think a lot of people have a sense that there is a true self inside them that gets boxed in by other people’s expectations. Do you have advice for people who might feel that way about how to be their true selves?

You’re pointing to exactly what’s behind all the anti-trans sentiment. The fundamental root of our problems is people living versions of who they’ve been told they should be, not who they are. The resentment that people have toward me and my community is because they’re looking at us saying, “What do you mean that we get to be free?”

But you don’t think people’s resentment is about their struggling to adapt to change more than feeling a comparative lack of freedom?

Of course. Things that are new are often jarring at first, but I want to tell you about the internet. I want to tell you about iPhones. These inventions fundamentally restructured how we related to one another, our self-conceptions, and there were not millions of people saying: “Abolish this! We are committed to our routine.”

Read more of the interview here.

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Transformation: A felon and former addict spun her background as a pet cemetery owner into a lucrative publishing career.

First Amendment battle: Booksellers are fighting a Texas law that would require them to rate books based on sexual content.

Our editors’ picks: Colson Whitehead’s sequel to “Harlem Shuffle” and eight other books.

Times best sellers: “Jackie,” a biography of the former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis by J. Randy Taraborrelli, is on the hardcover nonfiction list.

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Celebrate your cat with these 17 picks for feline gifts.

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THE WEEK AHEAD

What to Watch For

• Washington State will hold a statewide primary on Tuesday.

• Pope Francis is scheduled to travel to Portugal on Wednesday to participate in World Youth Day.

• Monthly U.S. employment numbers will be released on Friday.

• Thailand’s parliament is scheduled to pick a new prime minister on Friday.

What to Cook This Week

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