Dear Amy: I’m a big theater kid!
I love everything about the theatre. In 2020 I won a regional award for my production of Guys and Dolls (I Was Sarah). That was just before COVID struck.
In 2021, I began doing school plays at my high school. I’ve gotten some decent roles, but none as big as the ones I’ve gotten before.
At our school’s performance of The Sound of Music (I was Marta), a casting agent came to cast people for an Off-Broadway play. I didn’t hear much about it and thought no one was chosen.
A few days later, one of my friends told me that they had chosen seven children from our production.
I was devastated because I’ve been on stage my whole life and I thought I was really good at it.
This is all the more disappointing because it’s my junior year and I’m thinking about going to drama school.
Should I stop?
Supportive role sadness
Dear Supporting Role: To answer, I turn to an expert, my friend Mo Rocca. Mo is a grown theater boy, a featured actor on television and had a starring role in The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee on Broadway. (Check out his awesome podcast, Mobituaries.)
Here is Mo’s answer to you:
“You’re just getting started. If your career is a two-act musical, you’re still in the overture. Heck, the horns are just warming up – and we, the audience, are excited for what’s to come.
“There’s something reassuring and (yes) frustrating about the cast: There’s little you can do if you’re just not cut out for a role.
“I’m tall and thin, so I’ll never be considered a sumo wrestler. On a positive note, when I audition for Bert the Chimney Sweep in a production of Mary Poppins, I have a head start on any sumo wrestler who might choose the role.
“It all means that the day will come when you have talent. You just gotta hold on. (The great Angela Lansbury was almost 40 when she appeared in her first musical.)
“To be clear, there will be disappointments along the way – most auditions fail – but try to use those experiences to make you a better actor.
“One day you may be playing Liesl in The Sound of Music and you must be disappointed when you learn that Rolf is a Nazi.
“Now get out there and break your leg! (And my apologies to all the music-loving sumo wrestlers out there. I didn’t mean to offend.)
“I’ll be cheering you on from an aisle seat (I have long legs).”
I’d add to Mo’s response that those experiences in the theater – both the triumphs and the disappointments – will prepare you wonderfully for almost anything else you aspire to do in life. Just attending a live theater (even as a spectator) will bring you many experiences full of joyful inspiration.
Dear Amy: I’ve had this problem for a while where I start explaining something or ask a question, but the other person jumps in and gives me an answer unrelated to my question.
I try to speak clearly and only provide relevant information, but it’s like people only hear the first five words and then cut in to turn me off.
This happens with salespeople, relatives, colleagues, etc.
It feels like I spend so much time saying, “That wasn’t my question!”
What do I have to do to make people listen to me?
please just let me talk
Dear Talk: If this is a regular occurrence for a particular person, you may ask the other person why this dynamic continues. They may be telling you something about your own behavior that you are not aware of, such as when your voice stops at the end of a sentence or when you “talk up”.
More likely, this behavior is an expression of how rude and impatient the rest of us have become.
If you are interrupted, you might as well interrupt and say, “You interrupted me; Could you please wait until I’m done?”
Dear Amy: Count me as another reader who appreciated your reaction to Trying Not to Judge, the author who very often judged obese people and blamed them for being fat.
If you try, stop judging and thank your lucky stars for not facing this huge challenge.
Was there
Ladies and Gentlemen: I agree! Thank you very much.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.
