Metropolis is being gifted a free rest room, however it’s nonetheless going to value $1 million

Nothing in San Francisco comes cheap – not even a free restroom.

In the ongoing saga of the $1.7 million restroom that was once planned for Noe Valley Town Square, there’s some good news and some stomach-turning news.

According to the donor, the place should finally get a free prefabricated bathroom with a toilet in August or September. But the free gift won’t save the city $1.7 million. Not nearly.

Now the Recreation and Park Department hopes to keep toilet costs below $1 million, according to Supervisor Rafael Mandelman, who represents Noe Valley and has been in dresser calls with the department’s general manager Phil Ginsburg.

A cool $1 million for a 150-square-foot bathroom with a loo would have seemed outrageous to begin with. But $1 million for a bathroom that doesn’t even include the cost of the actual bathroom? Well, that stinks, even in bureaucratic San Francisco.

“That’s crazy, but it’s also consistent with everything else about the city government,” Mandelman told me. “They’re trying to get it under $1 million, so at least it won’t be a $2 million toilet.”

Well, there is.

The toilet is just a symptom of a much bigger problem in San Francisco: bloated budgets for public projects that make big money but little point. In a city consistently ranked as the world’s most expensive to build, almost any price is jaw-dropping. Containing costs is essential as the city stares at a looming budget deficit that will make solving its huge problems even harder.

There were the $20,000 trash can prototypes. The tiny $100,000 homes — which are just 64 square feet — for the homeless. The $61,000 tents in safe berths. And the nearly $1.2 million it now costs to build one unit of affordable housing. Additionally, Mandelman referenced the city’s estimate of $1.4 billion for housing the city’s homeless and their estimate that an emergency shelter bed costs the city $70,000 a year.

“Somehow everything we do costs amounts of money that just shake the conscience,” he said. “It’s not just about toilets, it’s about every aspect of city management.”

The toilet troubles began in October when Member of Parliament Matt Haney scheduled a press conference in Noe Valley Town Square to announce he had secured $1.7 million in government funding to build a toilet in the northeast corner of the charming square Sanitary but no bathroom. Neighbors told Haney that a restroom was the #1 priority.

But when this column questioned how a small loo could possibly cost $1.7 million and why it wouldn’t be operational until 2025, Haney canceled his potty party. Then Gov. Gavin Newsom pulled the plug on funding until the city could prove it could install a bathroom without flushing as much money down the drain.

That’s when Chad Kaufman, president of the Public Restroom Co., saw an opportunity. He told the city he would give her a modular toilet for free, which he is selling for $135,000. His buddy Vaughan Buckley, CEO of Volumetric Building Cos., promised to provide free architectural and technical assistance to prepare the site. They have agreed to use union workers for the installation, which they will pay for.

In a normal city, accepting such an offer would be a snap. Because this is San Francisco, Kaufman has had to attend ongoing weekly meetings with Recreation and Park employees every Wednesday for the past few months to discuss whether the city will accept his gift. He told me last week the answer was finally yes.

“It is estimated that we will be installed by the end of the summer,” Kaufman said. “In any other municipality, I could have installed this in a month. But this is the city of San Francisco. I knew it would be difficult.”

He said they are finalizing the final details, including the city’s request that the bathroom contain a specific type of sink and its request that a dispenser plaque be placed next to the dresser.

Rec and Park is keeping its toilet talk under wraps and not sharing much information after the embarrassing news of its $1.7 million toilet went viral.

“We are working to reach an agreement and will announce any agreement if and when it is finalized,” spokeswoman Tamara Aparton wrote in an email.

She confirmed that the location of Kaufman’s corporate headquarters — in Nevada — will not clog the restroom reception. Nevada is one of 30 states the city has closed to travel or business over its stance on abortion rights, voting rights or LGBTQ rights. Aparton said grants don’t count.

But how will accepting the simple gift cost $1 million? Aparton said she couldn’t confirm Mandelman’s $1 million figure, but she pointed to budget estimates the department shared with Haney in the fall that matched that number.

The document estimates that a custom toilet would cost $1.7 million and a prefabricated one would cost $1.2 million. In both cases, the actual construction and material costs were less than half. Most of it was mushy expenses like project management, construction management, architectural and engineering fees, permits, building design review, surveys, contract preparation, and cost estimation.

Custom built or not, the toilet still has to go through the same Byzantine process involving six city boards, Pacific Gas and Electric Co., consultants and approval from two commissions and the board of directors.

“Regardless of who is paying, all buildings go through the necessary permits, approvals and inspections,” Aparton said.

Kaufman was incredulous that his free bathroom would cost the city anywhere near that much to install. He said he and Buckley would handle the bathroom themselves, much of the architectural and engineering costs, the cost of transporting the toilet to the town square, a crane to lift it, and the labor cost of installing it.

He said the rest of the budget proposal — the surveys, permitting, cost estimates, project management and the like — was unfamiliar to him and “might be stuff the city puts in there to fluff up and cover their butts.”

“I hate politics,” he sighed.

Join the club.

Still, Kaufman said he believes Rec and Park employees are trying their best under the crazy city rules, and he hopes his gift will persuade the city to buy more of his modular toilets in the future. He admitted that he is also providing the toilet for the public and will have a camera crew in the town square on the day of the installation.

Hopefully, the toilet travails will not only result in a cheaper toilet for Noe Valley, but also a deeper understanding of why public projects in San Francisco cost so much. Supervisor Myrna Melgar has asked the Department of Public Works for a full settlement, although she said she has not received any information as of this week.

Haney said he just wanted Noe Valley to have a toilet that didn’t cost exorbitant sums. He said he spoke to Newsom’s deputy chief of staff Jason Elliott last week and that the governor will work with the city to allocate the full $1.7 million, with the remainder of the toilet project funding “another important need.” would.

Haney suggested a survey of residents to see what they would do with the money. Are you putting it towards an affordable housing unit? Building small houses for the homeless?

“I’m not screwing it up this time,” he said, laughing.

Let’s hope the city doesn’t either.

Heather Knight is a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle. Email: hknight@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @hknightsf